When I drive down Calliope (the four-lane street situated beneath the Crescent City Connection), I can’t help but smile at the signs labelled “Miss River Bridge.” I’ve often thought that if I ever pursue my life’s dream of becoming a full-fledged, professional female impersonator, that’s gonna be my drag name. I mean, sugar, you can’t buy that kind of publicity.

How disheartening, then, to learn that plans are already underway to change similar signs in Mississippi. I can only hope that New Orleans’ city officials have the good sense (Ed. note: Ha!) to leave well enough alone. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to go with one of my backup pseudonyms: Miss Levee Wall or Honey Island Turnaround–both of which sound like songs Sheena Easton forgot to write.