Given today’s date and the impending arrival of thousands upon thousands of my queer brethren and, uh, sisteren for the annual Halloween in New Orleans party, it’d seem an appropriate time to chat about GLBT events and what a boon they are for the city, despite some of their more irritating side-effects. But then, I’ve already voiced my opinions on that.
No, the real story today is not the plucked and preened, drug-addled queer masses bumping and grinding to phat bass beats all weekend long: it’s the plucked and preened predominantly straight masses who’ll be here in two weeks, bumping and grinding and showing off their (often fat) asses. I’m talking, of course, about the impending New Orleans in November lifestyle convention.
Honestly, I’d never heard of a “lifestyle convention” before this item crossed my desk yesterday, but apparently, they’re quite popular affairs (pun intended). Based on my fairly limited experience with erotic festivals and sex clubs, I imagine it’ll be a predominantly hetero event (except for some girl-on-girl stuff), with lots of crayon-colored “fun” wigs and ill-fitting PVC outfits and the occasional flogging demonstration.
But I’m not so concerned about all that. Synthetic hairpieces and dubious sartorial statements aside, what I’m really wondering is,”Why the hell isn’t the Right Reverend Grant freaking Storms protesting this event, too?” Is it because it’s “straight”? Or perhaps because the participants generally come from his socio-economic strata? (Let’s face it: Bill Gates and the Sultan of Brunei don’t come to conventions like this.) Sure, the event’s a couple of weeks off, and Storms may yet come through, but I’m kinda dubious. If any of you are planning to go, by all means keep an eye (and a nipple or two) out for him.