Lately I’ve developed a guilty pleasure of watching bad movies that are set in New Orleans. To make a movie truly stand out in this genre, the characters must live up to some ridiculous perceptions of the city. Bad “N’awlins” accents are almost universal, but often the characters have some sort of dark side that’s accented by the city’s loose morals and seamy underbelly. I’d like some help in compiling a list of such films, and I’ll start out with some of the ones I’ve seen recently.

Hard Target (1993) – In John Woo’s first Hollywood film, Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a Cajun named “Chance Boudreaux” who is hired to help an out of towner track down her missing father. It would take pages to summarize the ridiculousness of this film, so I will just say that I sat with gaping eyes and a slack jaw throughout the entire movie, awestruck by its complete detachment from any hint of reality. It was amazing.

Tightrope (1984) – Clint Eastwood plays an NOPD detective on the trail of a serial killer. To get inside of the killer’s mind he must involve himself in the seedy world of New Orleans brothels and such. Kind of a thrilling conclusion, but overall the movie was disappointing in its lack of bad New Orleans stereotypes.

The Badge (2002) – Billy Bob Thornton plays a small town conservative sheriff investigating the murder of a transvestite. The trail of evidence first leads him to New Orleans where he must contend with transsexuals as well as his estranged homosexual brother. Plunging deeper into the case, he finds that a group of corrupt southern politicians may be involved in the murder. Not a good movie.

Believe it or not, I haven’t seen “The Big Easy” yet but I understand it’s perhaps the landmark film of this genre. Others on my to-see list include “A Love Song For Bobby Long”.. other recommendations?

Apparently there’s a venue that has been open for 4 months on Rampart that’s not a jazz club or seedy gay bar. Like the love child of Mimi’s and Butler’s, behold, is King Bolden’s.

A friend brought me there last night where Sean (the old hip-hop DJ from the now defunct Butler’s) was spinning some awesome tracks to a random NOLA crowd. Next Saturday night should be a fantastic night to check it out with some great out of town DJs and Soul Sister (unfortunately booted out of Mimi’s on Saturday night after nine months due to resident complaints of being too loud – an awesome thing to be booted for) is spinning there on Essence weekend.

If you were a regular of Soul Sister saturdays at Mimi’s, the next best thing might just be on the 800 block of Rampart. See you there.

Went out to Mr. John’s for dinner last night. Excellent stuff — I had a small filet mignon and Kim had the duck breast. Standard menu items and the wine was puuuh-fect (a le Snoot cab).

A tasting down in Houma today and it went well, but going back Friday night when they break out the wine tasting. Lots of potential there.
BBQing at the house tomorrow — all day. It’s my birthday AND it’s Father’s Day so I’m just gonna kick back and do what I want without being concerned about the busy week coming up. We’ve invited the neighbors and I’m sure others will invite themselves once they start smelling it. I’m doing pork, for a change, since the briskets we found were just so damn big. Also gonna try my hand at a homemade BBQ sauce, so we’ll see how it goes. The neighborhood’s guaranteed to be smelling good, at least.

Lots of tourists in town this weekend for a couple of conventions. That time of year, I guess. I think, for the most part, we’ll stay on our side of Magazine. But lord, they’re fun to watch.

http://neworleans.craigslist.org/wan/79339530.html

What’s the going rate for a quarter these days, anyway?

Here we are not quite the official beginning of summer and the heat/humidity is already Up There. Summer in the South — what can you do?
A great afternoon yesterday, going down to Lafayette Square to see Shemekia Copeland. The girl is a young Koko Taylor with a touch of Aretha Franklin. I understand the problem with the heat, but it was a smaller crowd than I expected. A lot of people missed a hell of a performer.
That said, we got hungry and left a bit early ourselves. Took the streetcar back to Bravo! on St. Charles for a light dinner and some excellent wine, then walked home after a stop to say howdy to Martha at the Garlic Clove.
It’s my birthday this weekend, so I want to go out and do SOMEthing. The weather’s supposed to remain hot, so I imagine at least part of the time will be spent seeking out some new hangouts that are well air-conditioned.
This morning’s paper had a Chris Rose article about all the local real estate being bought up by or swapped around by various Hollywood types. No wonder all those tourists sweat themselves silly walking up and down First Street. They’re fun to watch, since there’s something about being on vacation that leads people to dress stupid.
Saw a good sign at Langenstein’s Uptown today. It had a picture of a cockatoo. Below the picture it said, “LOST — white cockatoo. Help us find ‘Rocket’. Reward offered.”

Just back from a few days on the road. It started out Saturday as a trip to secure my sailboat against Tropical Storm Arlene (also known as The Storm That Wasn’t). But it wound up as simply being a couple days in the sunshine, swilling rum and eating Food That’s Bad For You. Delightful, all in all — at least from the relaxation standpoint.
But it was odd spending time in an area where there’s virtually no diversity. And I mean that all its various forms — ethnic, racial, political, religious, musical — name it.
Bed will feel particularly good tonight. Because of where it is.

MR. BILL PULLS OUT OF WETLANDS CAMPAIGN

“Saturday Night Live” icon Mr. Bill is saying a resounding “Nooooo!” to further appearances in a public awareness campaign aimed at saving Louisiana’s wetlands.

–Washington Post

With all the Michael Jackson mishegas going on during the past few days, you’d think they coulda found something to write about other than a one-hit claymation wonder and his knee-jerk displeasure with Big Oil.

Then again, we’re talking about the Washington Post, people.

Tulane wins! They’re going to the College World Series in Omaha!

… what else would I be referring to?

Yesterday I saw all these cars on the S. Claiborne neutral ground and briefly worried that the Tropical Storm had changed course… then I realized it was Tulane baseball fans.

The Green Wave lost that contest but regained their composure today with a shutout win over Rice. Well done, guys!

The deciding game is tomorrow. Let’s show these Houstonians how it’s done. Good luck, Tulane!

This past week, in Chicago, I was fired. Not for anything substantial, mind you. Someone told some stories about me behind my back and the recipients took action without confronting me or confirming the facts. Unprofessional? Sure. Actionable before a court of law? Certainly.

As I rushed between terminals B and C at O’Hare, stepping onto the moving walkway, I looked around at the faux planetarium light show surrounding me. I stepped into a scene of Logan’s Run.
A brilliant portal of ambient music taking me back home.

I went out for a drink with some friends yesterday and in the bathroom of Alley Cats above Blue Nile, the gentleman next to me struck up a conversation at the urinal.

“You know that ‘Say No to Drugs’ message on the urinal plastic? I wonder if anyone actually ever listened to that – someone was probably snorting coke off the top of that thing and was like ‘Oh, man, did I make a mistake…’ ”
“Yeah, Barbara Bush really had her influence.”
“Did you ever see that Punky Brewster episode with Barbara Bush where someone tried to offer her a whole buffet of drugs and she was like ‘No!’ and ran away?”
“You mean Barbara Bush was in the room and telling Punky Brewster to say no to drugs?”
“No but she was in that same episode.”
“Cool.”

After being on the road for over a month, it’s fucking good to be back.