The World’s Most Clueless Man
This sounds like a lie. But it’s not. I swear.
About three weeks ago, I started getting calls from a man with a financial firm in St. Louis. He had a few ideas that sounded like they were workable vis-a-vis my business, so we talked a couple times. Then the hurricane grew, Kim and I bailed from New Orleans, and Hell Times Three descended on the city.
My cell phone, which has not had five calls since Katrina arrived, rings tonight. It’s the financial guy, who we’ll call Dave (because that’s his name).
“Craig! Dave here! Been having some phone trouble?”
“Just a little, Dave.”
“Glad it’s all fixed. So — you all set to do some business?”
“Gee Dave, I dunno. This hurricane has kinda thrown things into the Big Waring Blender and….”
“Oh yeah. I heard about that. Everything about dried out?”
“Um, no Dave. The house okay, but the business is awash.”
“Oh man. That’s a shame. Any time frame?”
(It’s becoming obvious to me by this point the guy really has no clue)
“Um, Dave — do you have any idea about what’s been going on down here?”
“Well, my wife’s Bolivian, so all we watch is the Spanish channels. Yadda yadda yadda’s all I hear. I don’t speak Spanish. All I’ve seen is lots of black guys on rooftops. I have no idea what the TV is saying.”
“Dave — the mayor says TEN-THOUSAND PEOPLE might have died. Two hundred miles of coastline got damage from this thing. It’s the largest national disaster in US history. The New Orleans population has been evacuated. An area of a million people is down to less than 10,000. Looting. Shooting.”
“REALLY? Oh My GOD!!!”
“Yeah, Dave. We really can’t talk about any financial stuff right now because, frankly, I don’t have any finances.”
“So, what, two weeks? I’ll get back.”
“Um, yeah Dave. Fine. Two weeks.”
Jeez — how does this guy make a living?
And no — I will not be entering into a business relationship with someone this disconnected from daily life. And, in this case, death.
But it did provide a good laugh.
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I used to work with some other advisors like that but that’s sad beyond belief.
So after all our nuclear war they’ll be the cockroaches and this guy trying to sell them on a business plan?
Wow….
That’s all I can really think of to say.
What planet is this guy from?
Good gawd.
The other day I was in a cafe, reading the paper while waiting for a coffee and of course the whole new paper was splattered with horrifying images and the guy behind me said something like “ugh, it so horrible” and I nodded in agreement, but the girl making the coffee said “what?”
“New Orleans, the hurricane” the guy and I both said.
She looked up and said “oh, did it hit them?”
This was yesterday….and the paper belonged to the cafe.
Unbelievable.
I ran into this phenom today. Our website, http://www.gourmetfoodmall.com , did not go down and is still operating properly and all transactions were going through normally, thanks to the good fortune of being hosted in Houston rather than in Kenner at the Xerox building where our offices are.
I was talking to a guy in CA who KNOWS where we all are, and he asked if we had moved back into our offices yet.
I told him that, “no, it might be a while before we get back. Out of the six of us, three of us have demolished or flood ruined homes and the other three have tons of repair work before we can move back in and that will only be after we can GO home, which might be a while.”
The guy said, “really, I thought it was only the “bad parts” of town that flooded. You don’t live where all of those black people live, do you?”
I hung up on the guy. He hasn’t called back.
On the other hand, the number of calls and emails I have recieved from people that I barely know has been heartwarming. People care, and people love our part of the world. The first person that I met when I went home to Abita on Saturday was a Canadian who was looking for a Red Cross station. There were three people in the car and they had driven, straight through, from Toronto. She was looking for someplace in Covington and I directed here there. She wished me, “good luck, eh” and was on her way. Thank God for these volunteers.
I really liked what Capitano said today on his interview on MSNBC, “What Fema and Homeland Security should do is to call Wal Mart and see how to do this. They get the stuff there, it’s the right stuff, and they have it organized like a military operation.”
When asked what he thought should happen to the FEMA director (I am paraphrasing here as I don’t have it exactly), “He, and all of the people that work for him, should be fired.”
If anyone is intersted, there are some pictures of what Abita Springs looks like here on Sony Image Station. YOu have to register, but on the other hand, it’s a great service for storying your photos and you won’t ever have to worry about losing important photos to storms or computer crashes.
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2121238052&idx=3
Jesus in pajamas, what an arse! That guy is a shining example of why truly talented and caring people don’t get into his line of work - most of them are like that it seems.
I’m very sorry you experienced that. Such insensitivity and stupidity.
With all of the sadness that has come from this, I think this is the first time I chuckled while thinking about this whole mess. At this point it’s the little things. Guys that live on Planet NoFreakinClue qualify.
To Holly above, where was this cafe?
for those less forgiving of the poor sods at fema hq, here’s something to read.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/katrina/story/0,16441,1563379,00.html
Sean
ps, when Southern California go arse over tit thats when this si all going to look a frigging cake walk.
Hey Craig!
There is one in every crowd!
Craig,
A refugee in Nashville, I tried surfing the cable TV to find more than just CNN, MSNBC, and Fox. Out of hundreds of channels, only three were showing the story. I find that oddly comforting — not everyone is obsessed with this. I also find the spam I get comforting — like there’s a normal world somewhere we can look forward to rejoining, where the most important things are interest rates and the ability to get an erection.
STEVE O’KEEFE
Marigny Refugee
He and Barbara Bush should go bowling together.
wow thats really dumb!
Craig,
Yes, there seems to be one in every crowd. And then there are communities like Tucson, where we set a single day record for donations to the Red Cross (which has been in Southern AZ for 89 years). Most of the people donating do not know a soul in the Gulf, but are willing to put their money and effort forward. We are also hosting approx. 2000 evacuees (and I’d like it to be 2002-hint, hint).
Just let the stupid people stay stupid, the majority of us make up for them.
…and thanks to you and Ty.
…for everything.
I’d like to point out a small group of people are taking advantages as a result of Katrina.
THE REAL LOOTERS ARE THOSE WHO JACK UP THE PRICES KATRINA
Maybe he should do business in Bolivia.
On 9/11/01, someone called me in the afternoon to ask if I got his resume.
Craig, my friend….these stories of yours are a delight. I’m glad you enlightened him, I’m just sorry that it wasn’t with a 2×4.
Now, that’s a scary level of oblivion. Wonder if that guy ever thinks about anything beyond his own bodily functions.
I was in line at the grocery store here in Seattle last week and actually heard someone in line behind me say to his companion: “I am so tired of all this endless coverage of that damn hurricane- what I want to know is does this mean the price of coffee will go up?”.
I guess I should have just turned around and decked him but I kind of stood there, amazed.
hm. maybe he was on vacation with W.
Dave’s last name is Bush, right?
I also wonder why we dont see more of what is REALLY going on in ALL the effected areas.Why can’t they run banners along the bottom of the tv screens with updated info.
Is this not important enough?
Is there any info. on what if any donations gas & oil co. have offered?
Is there a way to find a list of who has and has not offered help?
i ask about gas & oil because even in IND. gas prices jumped .80 a gallon over night, doesn’t seem as if they are helping anyone but thier own pocket.
nice blog you have here!!!
nice blog
carls levis