So, then there’s this….
I was bored at lunch today, so like most times when I get bored, I went trolling around on Craig’s List because there’s usually always something there to make me shake my head in wonder. First I looked at available apartments because I like the big numbers. Then I moved on to the people looking for apartments. I figure it will give me a feeling for how badly its all going to work out. Plus, I thought, maybe there’ll be an ad for some hot, permiscuous chick who needs a place to live since I have been sort of half-open to the idea of a roommate (provided said roommate is both hot and permiscuous). And as I was thinking all this, it occured to me that I, am an asshole. So I put a little chalk tick mark on the wall like I aways do when that thought occurs to me and continued my Craig’s List Whor-liday Roommate Shopping. And then it happened. It was amazing. Like a beacon from the very asshole of God. I found myself standing in the shadow of greatness, at least in asshole circles. The Dude, as it were. I give you Arrogance Personified:
*****Begin unauthorized quote from Craig’s List*****
$50 - Really cool, attractive and hip guy looking for place to stay in NOLA
——————————————————————————–
Reply to: hous-117052902@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-12-09, 4:36PM CST
Smart fun-loving black dude working in NOLA looking for a really cool fun-loving girl to room with for a cpl of weeks while in town working for a federal contractor. I like sushi, gumbo, pizza, thai, and more. My musical tastes vary, and am most inclined to be listening to mos def, cold play, little brother, lenny kravitz, maroon 5, kanye west, eric roberson, babel gilberto, alice coltane—this list goes on and on. Though I had never been to NOLA before now, I am here—man is it depressing—and I saw Bourbon St for the 1 st time yesterday (that was really cool).
What I am looking for is more than a room–more like a rooming experience. Some nice woman whose tastes are eclectic and funky as well. I am low maintenance and very responsible. I am drama free, and I am very short-term :-).
I can go on about more, but If this sounds cool, then call me. You can 785-375-2121
this is in or around NOLA
no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
117052902
*****End unauthorized quote from Craig’s List*****
For those of you visiting from Mississippi, I’ll Paraphrase: “I want someone to fuck while I’m in town and I don’t want to put any effort into it. Also, I need someone to mooch off of during previously mentioned fuck-stay”. “Also, I have VD and if you fall for this I won’t feel bad giving it to your dumb-bitch-ass”. HEH HEH - I made up the VD thing but I think the first part is pretty close.
I would encourage everyone who reads this to call this guy and when he answers calmly state, “You suck” and then hang up.
I’m just kidding, don’t do that - I did and it was fun - but don’t you do it.
(if he doesn’t answer - leave a message)
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Given the man/woman ratio in this city at present, this makes his arrogance stand out doubly.
It’ll be interesting to see what kinds of comments this elicits on CraigsList. I hadn’t seen it yet. But I know about a half-dozen women in this neighborhood who’s love nothing better than to contribute their honest opinion of his effort.
Nice post, Jack ! LOL ! ! ! CL can serve as a sort of sociological barometer.
Really. This guy’s in the same genre albeit at another end of the scale as the all landlords evicting hurricane survivors right and left out of their apartments. Maybe he could buddy up to Leah Hodges, survivor and Senate hearing applicant. I’m sure she’ll let him know how much she appreciates his selfish presumption.