Today I am missing the Mardi Gras marathon for the 12th year straight. It’s passing a block from my house. And I call myself a runner. Each May and December I buy one or two pairs of those extremely expensive Asics Gel-Kayanos and run them til they’re dead. I have gone through countless portable music delivery systems that make my mileage possible. I should have stock in Sony. Often, the real reason I run is to listen to music uninterrupted for an hour. Lots of people run for health, this could likely be my death. Running in the heat in Audubon park at 2 pm on an August afternoon. I must run.

However, I run alone. Even a ‘fun run’ gives me an ulcer, all those people. It doesn’t bring out the best in me. I run for the zen of it. It’s a drug I don’t like to share. In the past 20 years I have only run perhaps three organized races. The first was a Turkey Trot as a teen. I ran to benefit Save Our Cemeteries a few years back and the Symphony Run as well. They are great events but I make myself sick, I am best suited for the race support krewe.

The only event I love is the Rex Run. This run is known only to real dedicated runners of New Orleans. If they still host it in the wee hours of Mardi Gras day, this is the very first event King Rex attends. It is not mentioned in the Arthur Hardy guide. The only way to find out about the run is by running in Audubon Park. Sometime during the week before Shrove Tuesday the organizers announce that the run is taking place by posting small signs on the garbage cans along the paved way of the park.

At 7:00 am on Mardi Gras day, while it’s still cold and foggy and y’all are at home getting the chicory, the mimosas, the bloody marys and Advil going for your houseguests, we are in our first costume of the day, our running shoes. Only about 50 people show up for the Rex run, people of all types, a couple kids. We are greeted by our hosts who are unloading our post-run prizes; champagne and orange juice, water, and T-shirts. I still have my shirt. I never wore it, maybe once. I just save it. It is understated, not like a regular race t-shirt. It only has the Rex insignia on the chest. No sponsors for this run. Soon, from the distance you hear the police sirens of Rex’s motorcade approaching from Magazine St. The lights and the limo deliver the Rex royalty to the clubhouse, they are not in any fancy dress and yep, you may be one of the few to ever see the King of Rex wearing sweatpants.

Rex makes the official declaration for the race and a small, but very real cannon is fired to start the race. The sound from this cannon takes your breath away. It hurts . . . especially if you are nursing a hangover from Lundi Gras. Every dog in the area begins barking and every car and mansion alarm in the surrounding blocks begins blasting and that cacophony takes the place of my mp3 player for the one, symbolic lap around the park. After this it’s Iko Iko all day !

Congrats to all the runners out there this morning, I can hear the crowds cheering for you and I am too.

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1. Mardi Gras hangs on…
2. Mardi Gras Around Me
3. Mardi Gras Sponsorship = FAILURE
4. Need Your Help: Mardi Gras Second Line Routes
5. Mardi Gras Indians