So, I moved back into my house in Mid City this past weekend. There was little fanfare involved with this because, well, 2/3rds of the house is still unliveable, I’m sleeping on an air mattress, the kitchen has no counters, sink, or stove, and no gas. Well, no gas until today. The gas thing was particularly irritating because I figured I’d just be able to turn the valve at the meter and it would come on, since my neighbors have working gas. I’d planned on doing a bunch of laundry and being able to cook next week when the stove gets here. So I was a bit miffed when it didn’t work.

I thought about it and realized there is probably still water in the pipes past the valve, and that water is preventing the gas from getting to my dryer. So I called Entergy to see if they could come turn it on. I didn’t mention the water theory or trying to turn it on myself. Well, they told me I’d need a licensed plumber to do an inspection first because “the meter hasn’t been read in over a year.” Funny, none of my neighbors needed a licensed plumber, they flagged down an entergy guy on the street and they helped turn it on with no fuss. Also funny that the meter hasn’t been read in over a year, because Entergy certainly hasn’t had any problems charging me for gas service in the last 12 months, even though they aren’t reading the meter and are aware its been shut off for 7.5 months now.

So that kinda irritated me. But I figured, what the hell, maybe I should just call a plumber. Common sense is “you don’t want to mess with gas lines.” So I called five or ten plumbers. They all told me, in varying degrees of politeness, that they are too busy to accept any new customers. See, when no “official” people can help, this is when vigilantism decides to rear its beautiful, beautiful head. I decided I’d clean out the gas lines myself. Akin to Paul Kersey in the Death Wish films, I armed myself with two pipe wrenches and a can of pipe dope, and took to the seamy underbelly of my house.

Like most of the projects I’ve taken on in rebuilding, it was actually pretty simple. I’m just going to flat out give the instructions right here incase anyone else is in the same predicament. City hall probably won’t be too happy that I’m encouraging this. Maybe they should have thought twice before laying off the people who grant electricians and plumbers licenses to operate in the city. Maybe Entergy should think twice about being so goddamned obtuse when it comes to helping people restore their service.

First off, you need an air compressor. And a wrench. And some pipe sealant with teflon. Go to your meter. Make sure the valve before the meter is off (metal tab perpendicular to pipe). If there is no valve, don’t attempt this. Unscrew the nuts that hold the meter to the pipes, thus removing the meter completely. Dump the water out of the meter (mine had about a gallon in it). Shake it out. Make sure you get every drop out. Then, leaving the meter unattached, go into the house. Open up a gas valve and stick an air compressor nozzle into the pipe and blow that sucker out. Do this for at least a few minutes to make sure you get any residual water out. Close off the valve when you’re done. Then screw the meter back on, after puting the pipe sealant around the threads on the meter intake/outtake. That’s it, you’re done. Turn on the gas and go in the house, turn on the same gas valve and make sure it’s flowing. It should be.

You didn’t hear this from me.

Vigilantism: our new way of life.

Related posts:

1. What a Wonderful World
2. Entergy: Making Your Life Hellish With (Un)Improved Technology
3. French Quarter Update
4. Well, THAT was interesting…
5. Thanks Mr Nagin