It’s not the heat…or is it?
It started a couple of weeks ago when I opened the back door to let out the hounds for their morning run. The Kit-Cat clock on the wall (a gift from a friend who recently departed for less storm-prone parts) read only 6:00 or so, and it was already kinda warm in my un-air-conditioned kitchen. But that didn’t even begin to hint at the climatological slap in the face I got when the door popped open and the dogs flew out: a slimy, cloying blanket of mugginess and heat coupled with the shock of oh-my-god-how-quickly-we-forget-what-summer-is-like-down-here.
Now, I grew up in this climate. I’ve spent 30-some-odd years getting used to it. I like it–well, in the sense that I prefer a hot summer to a cold winter. When it gets like this, I do a pretty good job adjusting, slowing down, staying indoors during the noon hours, switching from scotch to vodka (or maybe Pernod). Still…. I mean, is it just me, or does the heat seem more oppressive this time around? Am I the only one asking myself, like, holy crap, can I put myself through this again?
I know I go through this every year, and every year my body does a little more acclimating, and suddenly, the weather isn’t as awful as it seemed. This year, though, I’m thinking there’s something tied to hurricane season, something emotional–kind of a sense-memory, like Proust, but without the floppy hair. For him, a waft of perfume or the taste of a madeleine brought back fond memories of childhood. For me, the feel of 95 degrees and 90% humidity on a bright, cloudless day dredges memories of touring a beautiful, glass-walled museum in Lafayette, Louisiana on August 28, 2005 and watching bands of storm clouds pass overhead on an otherwise bright, cloudless day and feeling sick to my stomach, like someone had just kicked me in the gut, and instinctively saying Hail Marys for the better part of an hour even though I’m not religious, much less Catholic.
Am I the only one?
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I’m with ya on this one. The temps lately take me back to the days following the storm when the power was out and I was sitting at the Avenue Pub drinking warm MGD and watching people loot the Walgreen’s on St. Charles. The heat seemed to be a catalyst amplifying the disorientation, confusion, and surreal nature of what was happening. Now that the temps are rising I find myself with that same dizzy-headed woozy feeling for just a barely perceptible second at random times.
The jet streams are shifting making semi sub tropical Louisiane’ sub tropical.
As the earth changes its axis while the magnetosphere
is reversing, places that were once considered north
will become more south, we are sliding in closer to the equator.
The continents are shifting farther apart as we speak.
The wave that shook the world out of Australia….!!
Yes, it is getting hotter cause we are getting colder
when the axis shifts in 2012 it is not a death sentence
or the end of the world.
The very stars over your head are changing out their orbit
in a bit we will no longer navigate ships by polaris.
The zodiac is set to shift out completely in 2012-that’s the story.
This has occurred before and obviously the humans survived then too.
Laurie
Remember the sun is also a star!
Laurie. Dude. Whoa.
For a more freaky perspective, http://www.halexandria.org/dward415.htm
I haven’t finished reading it yet.
It does a better job of explaining cycles though.
Laurie
This might help.
http://www.csep10.phys.utk.edu/astr161/lect/time/precession.html
Laurie
95 degrees with 90% humidity in June: Um….I’m trying to think of something encouraging to write…
1. Ice panties.
2. Cold garden hose on face and neck.
3. Icy Gin and tonics.
4. Never leave home without a hand fan.
I send cool’n thoughts to you all from Seattle.
Drury
Wow, where can I get some ice panties? Do they have ice camisoles? Why haven’t I heard about this before? Drury, down here there is no such thing as cold water coming out of a garden hose in the summer. You have to just get wet and hope for evaporative cooling, like a pig. Also, hand fans just push hot air onto you. The only viable option, in my opinion, is to put on your ice panties and drink a couple of iced gin and tonics.
I’ve been praying for a heat stroke every day. See, when you have a heat stroke you usually pass out. I figure it’d be like a little mini vacation from my troubles and cares.
This afternoon I wrapped myself up in duct tape and ran around the block for a while - no luck, but I think I dropped a few pounds. So at least there’s that.
“Cool Running!!!”
Where is our bobsled team?!
My egg still ain’t broken!
An I ain’t tellin’ you where I’m keeping it either!
Laurie
The advantage of wrapping yourself in duct tape during a heat spell: when you rip it off, the pain may take your mind off the heat for a few minutes. However, that will only be effective if the duct tape can adhere to your sweaty self.
People, I’m on YOUR side. I knew my suggestions for a hand fan or cold hose were naive and born of wishful thinking. I “typed while panicked”.
However, if you have electricity AND a fridge that works, load up some ice cubes in your knickers, put a dish towel between you and the icy bits, and shazam, you have your very own “ice panties”.
I’m all in!
Sounds like something I only let my husband do to me-whatever works.
I find any excuse to go outside an’ play with the hose
works under normal conditions you have to figure out how
to break things so you can fix ‘em.
You’re gonna’ get sweaty so you get to play in the hose.
Laurie
Please bring Mako home.
Drop him off on the side of the road in front of my house.