No Parking…..
…means No
Fucking
Parking
Okay?
Last fall or winter, I was chastised in this space for saying I had gone down to the French Quarter and actually parked in a place that’s not a normal place. I’d find the post, but I’m not that detail-oriented this evening. Anyway, at the time, I parked at night in a loading zone in front of a business that had not yet reopened and in a FQ that was virtually devoid of visitors. It was illegal indeed and, rightly, someone who lived down there called me on it. I blocked no one’s access and no one’s door nor anyone’s right of way. But it WAS a loading zone, so point taken.
This evening, all this slapped me in the face and y’all in the FQ — I apologize. Big-time. But, in my own defense, at least I tried to be discreet.
TBK and I are sitting on the front stoop (Irish Channel) and some jackleg from Kenner not only pulls into a NO PARKING space in front of a driveway but does so DIAGONALLY on a parallel parking street. Then Mr. Idontgiveashit and his g/f vanish into Parasol’s like they own the freaking street.
NonononononoNO.
In normal times, there is not enough parking on the street for residents. But these days, there are the contractors and the PODS things and the piled-up debris and even more shit and, frankly, I’d had enough. I enjoyed every hissing second of deflating his left front tire and every scratchy moment of leaving him a note. Not exactly how John Wayne would do it, but we’ve seen how well that approach has worked lately in our foreign policy.
I hung around to watch on and off for an hour or so, but the guy never showed. Then I had a phone call and went inside and did some other stuff and I went back out and the car was gone. Whatever.
Bottom line — please park legally or the police might be the least of your problems. I’m a mild-mannered food guy and former reporter and not exactly The Bearded Avenger. Lord only knows what someone who’s really pissed off might do to your car.
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As W.C. Fields once said, “There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”
Some internet entity just felt the unabashed need to tell
me New Orlean’s shouldn’t be rebuilt because it’s below sea level.
I told it that that you live in an earthquake zone
we won’t rebuild there either.
Laurie
Laurie,
When I was evacuated, a woman told me she couldn’t understand how people could live below sea level when it was so dangerous. She knew I was from NOLA.
I told her I agreed with her and that people who lived below sea level or in a tornado alley or in an earthquake zone were certifiable. When I said tornado alley, smoke came out of her ears because that’s where she lived. Boy that was fun !
I finished up by noting that in some Seattle suburb, schools have volcano drills because the schools were in the most likely path for lava and they wanted the school kids to know which way to run.
We should stop rebuilding those places also cos’ something
might happen then maybe they’ll shut up.
Laurie
There comes a time in every man’s life that his tires are slashed. If they’re slashed by you, who’s to say you were wrong in giving him that experience?
Nah. I won’t slash a tire. I figure it’s hassle enough to force someone to try to locate an air machine in this town that actually operates.