In today’s headlines, we find the Saints win changed the attitudes of some, but caused others to conduct business as usual around town. Three dead guys in one night, again. I wonder if they were so excited about the win that they decided to go out and kill people. I almost killed myself when I ran from the kitchen back to the sofa.

I heard murder number one took place after Datrain stole Lamarcus’ giant foam finger so he got shot to death.
Murder number two took place after Tron aksed if he colud have a “solid” quarter from the guy selling Dove bars at the dome. Let’s just say the Dove bar guy was not in the mood. The third murder took place when Stantonius accidentally snorted the cocaine reserved for Michael Irvin after the ESPN show was over. He sent O.J. to collect.
Stantonious did not stand a chance.

Bubble head Blanco was in Bucktown yesterday. I thought for sure she jinxed us after guaranteeing a Saints victory, but I guess fate doesn’t hate us that much. She was asked to speak about oil revenues and offshore drilling but accidentally lost her place. She then began to announce the lunch menu for the grade school down the street. “Todays hot lunch is Sheppaaads pie, wif green beanz, and fruit cup. ” She then used her hair as a scale model of the Dome to describe the new innovations and extras that had been added in the renovation.

I didn’t see Massa Ray in any of the ESPN coverage. I guess they figured we didn’t need to be embarrassed again on National T.V. Thanks ESPN.

All in all it was a good day. The cell phones didn’t work. How ironic was that? I got about twelve text messages and started to have flashbacks of hotel rooms and shitty food. I closed early to get home in time to see mongoloid retard Fred Leblanc yodeling his cowboy crap music. The costume contest was pretty weak as well. It didn’t matter though, we won. In the big scheme of things, that is all that mattered.

I wonder if ESPN will now broadcast the first Tulane game coming up in the Dome. Special guests include performances from The Captain and Tenille, as well as Grand Funk Railroad and two guys from Sha-NA-NA. No, John Bowzer will not be one of them. The coin toss will be made by the wax figure of Ernie K-Doe, you know, the one that his wife talks to on a daily basis outside the Mother-in Law lounge. The National Anthem will be sung by Manhattan Transfer accompanied by Zanfir and his amazing pan flute. How many tickets are left? I want Plaza seats.

The End