Weah Da Hoez At?

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel sick. What the hell is going on around here? I think we need to sign a petition to pull out every idiot in all of the departments in this city. I just read and heard some fantastic news that will go down in the “We are retarded” file. How in the hell are we supposed to get anything done with our current leaders. I think every one of them should be fired. I think they should be held accountable for everything that happens to us from here on out. Katrina did some damage, but they are pouring salt in the wounds. Does anyone have a list of schools attended by the City Council or the Police Chief? They must have been home schooled and rewarded for putting the round peg into the square hole. How can they look at themselves in the morning and knowingly continue doing a job they know they can’t handle. Here goes:

New Orleans police have just completed a 2 week sting operation to end prostitution in the Quarter. They arrested 53 women and are saying they will keep them in jail for longer terms to teach them a lesson. I don’t have enough time to write every expletive I have ever created, but let’s try a just a few. These mother fucking, tit faced, ass mongrel, chach bag eating, cramp stain, cock turd, knuckle dragging, pimp donkey, butt sacks can arrest 53 hoes but they can’t put a goddamn murdering drug dealer in jail for more than 2 days. I am dumbfounded.
We have a limited number of jail cells, but we’ll take up 53 of them because Wadswoth McPumpington doesn’t want to see a painted lady on the corner of Burgundy and St. Ann. It offends him. I tell you what, I’d rather walk past a fat ugly pro blowing an Asian tourist than get my brains splattered on the sidewalk so Kizbo can go buy a vile of crack. I’ll take that deal any day. These guys actually wasted that much effort and man hours to go pro hunting. Un-fucking-believable.

Rafael Goyoneche of the MCC made a point by saying we put all this effort into rebuilding the dome, but the courthouse still isn’t open. I’m all about the Saints, but this is horribly wrong. The Dome would have been rebuilt anyway, but who the hell is in charge of rebuilding the courthouse? Whos call is that? Whoever it is, they should be castrated and flogged and tied up on the roof of the Dome so crows could pick at his carcass. This is total bullshit.

Next story. I can’t believe that the guys who risk their lives every day in this town are treated like shit. The City Council approved a raise for Firefighters upon review of the City’s budget. Brenda Hatfield, the Chief Administrative officer to the Mayor was on T.V. saying something like” Well, we don’t have the money to pay them, something else will have to go for us to afford the raise.” Here’s a thought, why don’t we give him your salary bitch, because your job is sooooo very important to the welfare of this city. What exactly do you do but polish Massa Ray’s shoes all day in an air conditioned office. I would be embarrassed to even say something that heartless to a group of people that sacrifice their lives for shit pay that is equivalent to being a fry cook at McDonald’s. Oh wait! Now the fry cook gets paid more than they do. Go figure.

Next story: A family in Terrebone parish is being screwed like a French Quarter hooker on pay day. FEMA told them they had to build their house up to 9ft pylons from their previous 4ft height. They obliged and did the work. Now, the insurance company is telling them they won’t insure the house because it’s too fucking high. I’m not saying anything but someone needs to die at this point. After all the bullshit, you can now be dropped for being over protected. I bet this guy is in his Jetson’s house right now banging his head into the refrigerator door.

Does anyone on the other end of the phone ever watch TV? How can they not understand that people here are trying to get it together? How could they? Most of the time, it’s a person in India telling you something in broken English. You say” Excuse me, is there someone I can talk to about my cancelled insurance policy?” You then get “CHURPA DURPA DURPA CHURPA TAAAAAAXI TAAAAAXI DURPA CHURPA. ” Now you tell me how this guy in Terrebone is going to get a straight answer. He won’t. He’ll have to pay Todd “I’ll fuck my mother for a nickel” the contractor another $20,000 to bring his house back down to 4ft. This will no doubt be coming out of his pocket.

I had to get it out. It was giving me cramps. The stupid shit going on down here keeps happening. When is it going to end? Is anyone a lawyer? Can we boot the current city administration out with some signatures or some other Woodstock hippy bullshit like that? What are the legal steps? If this city paid me $250,000, I would quit my job right now and go cut all the grass and fix all the fences and pick up all the debris. Just give me a city pick-up truck that runs and I’ll do it. It ain’t that fucking hard to do. I ain’t afraid of workin’. You start at one side and you’re done when you hit the other side. How hard is that to figure out? Give a man a toilet and he’ll pee for a day. Teach him how to fix a toilet and he’ll shit for a lifetime.

The End.

10 Comments so far

  1. Mr. B (unregistered) on October 24th, 2006 @ 11:11 pm

    Feel better?


  2. Laurie (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 12:56 am

    When I heard the too high-no insurance on the news

    first I was mad then I cracked up so did my husband,

    we rarely laugh at the same thing. Unbelievable – too high!

    Laurie


  3. kg2v (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 7:05 am

    I KNOW it sounds dumb, but have you heard of the “broken window” theory? Where one broken window on a block leads to all sorts of other problems?
    Maybe 15-20 years ago (right about the Dinkins/start of Rudy Era), NYC decided to try this. They got laughed at. They diverted a LOT of cops into arresting “squeege men” and turnstyle jumpers. Folks said “why are you wasting your time when we have thousands of murders a year.

    Do you know what happened?

    Murders went down! They found that by picking up the low level criminals, they found a lot of the high level criminals. You pick up one pro strung out on crack, you get her to talk, you find out what’s going on with the crack dealers. You pickup the turnstyle jumper, and instead of just issuing a ticket, you take him downtown for prints – you find out that he’s wanted for armed robbery from 2 years before under another name.

    How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, from the edges in.

    It’s been proven over and over around the country at this point. You DON’T ignore the “pros” and the street grifters, and the 3 card monty guys. You go after them – they lead you to the bigger stuff


  4. Craig (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 8:34 am

    I’d agree. Crime is a very bottom-up thing, in that for each Al Capone you take down, there are dozens of little Al Capones waiting for their opportunity to rise and take his place.

    I’m not saying to ignore one for the other. I’m saying that if we keep arresting street-corner guys for minor crimes (and actually prosecute them, which we don’t do in New Orleans), eventually it will be harder for the guys higher up the chain to get someone to sell their shit for them. And, since they’re usually not Mensa members, the low-level guys are much more easiliy influenced into giving up some valuable info about those higher up the chain.


  5. Jack Ware (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 8:58 am

    There’s a pretty nice explanation of the broken window theory in a book called The Tipping Point. It’s especially nice because the book also provides a context of how the same sort of thing happens in other social environments – not just crime.

    More information about the book here: http://www.gladwell.com/tippingpoint/index.html

    In case anyone’s interested.


  6. kg2v (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 1:13 pm

    Yes, I’ll second “The Tipping Point”, very good book

    For those who have not read it, the “Broken Window” theory came from some observations in the South Bronx in the 1970s – how one unfixed broken window could take down a whole block. People laughed at the first method of trying to fix that – they put pictures of complete windows with plants and the like in a few buildings. The joke is, even though it is STILL laughed at, it actually lowered crime on those couple of blocks. Eventually, they rebuilt those buildings, and I understand that they are some of the nicer buildings in the area. You can see them from the Cross Bronx Expressway


  7. Paul p (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 3:28 pm

    I have a broken window. Anyone wants to fix it for free? This theory of fixing broken windows is great, but the fact is, most of the houses in crime ridden areas are rentals. The owners don’t give a shit, and the tennants arent going to fix shit that they didn’t break. Until we get a hold of the slumlords and start to come down on them, the beat up houses will remain. When they built that stepford neighborhood behind Wal-mart on Thcoupitalis, they said it would give the neighborhood a fresh start. A few years later, it is still not a place I would want to be at 3am on a Friday night.

    There would be no drug dealers if their were no drug heads. We have a poulation of 190,000. How much crack can a crack head smack if a crackhead could smack crack? How can there be enough drug heads to support such a large network of dealers? I don’t know any crack heads. Where the fuck are they? How can they afford to pay rent? Who stole my pen? Why hath mine god forsaken me? Who shot the sherriff? Was it the deputy?


  8. Paul p (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 3:33 pm

    yes, I spelled Tchoupitalis wrong, don’t send corrections.


  9. Laurie (unregistered) on October 25th, 2006 @ 3:59 pm

    Chop eh tulips.

    Laurie


  10. knickster9 (unregistered) on November 1st, 2006 @ 9:08 pm

    Have you heard about the tazed dope dealer theory? They found that a troubled youth couldn’t kill his rival dealer when he had 20,000 volts shooting through his ass.
    The fact is, the cops were rounding up girls on Bourbon because there was grant money to pay the cops with. The city is broke. No one thought through some “bottom-up” strategy. If there were a grant out there for rounding up crooked politicians, we might get somewhere.



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