When I first read “Katrina Overload” it didn’t seem odd to me that Orlando is “sick of Katrina”. I just sort of nodded thinking, ‘yeah, me too’. What was odd was to find out a few sentences later, that the city I live in is actually “GONE, flushed out into the Gulf and (in some places) ruined forever. That blows the mind. A city no longer exists.” Indeed it does blow the mind, especially if you live there. So I sent an email to the metroblog powers that be and told them about the whole “not existing thing” and I have been assured that, based on that information, that New Orleans Metroblog will be shut down in short order. This may, in fact be the last post. Thanks Julie, would hate to keep posting from The Twilight Zone. With that said, I should try and say something worthwhile for future generations and Internet archeologists (see that’s a term from the future because I live in a parallel universe and can see the future).

Once I got over the shock of finding out I live in a non-existent city, another thing puzzled me. That is; why wouldn’t Orlando be more empathetic, if not sympathetic? Would I be if the situation was reversed? The answer, sadly, is no, I really wouldn’t. Would I feel the same way all of Orlando feels according to Julie? Probably.

So, uh, why? Is it because I’m an asshole….mmmm, partly. Is it because I’m trying to make myself feel better as her second post on the subject suggests. I don’t think so since I feel fine. So what is it? Well, I’m not sure, but here’s an idea that doesn’t seem totally out of scope for me personally.

See, I’m not from here, and to me Hurricanes were always fun. They were neat stories from places I’d never been and had no connection with. Seeing the water lap up on shore and news reporters standing sideways against the wind and rain. Now I’ve been down here a while and have ridden out more than a few hurricanes. Regretfully, I have to admit I’ve never evacuated to get out of the way of a hurricane. Regretfully, because I remember people telling me with an air of pride that they’d never evacuated - heard myself say it once at a Hurricane Party.

Hhhhmmmm, a Hurricane Party, a drink called a Hurricane, that’s made in a hurricane glass, a bar in Metairie called Hurricanes, a football team….my point is, how seriously do we take hurricanes? Up until recently, I have to admit, they were a concern for me to the point that I’d keep an eye on them when they were around; like an unfamiliar dog at the park. But if I’d really viewed hurricanes in the same way as I do now, I would not have been here during Katrina. I just wasn’t as dedicated to the idea as I should have been, took what I thought was a fairly small gamble and got stuck here. I just wouldn’t take that gamble now.

Still, others lacked the option to get out. More specifically, they lacked the transportation necessary to get out. Sounds weird to most Americans, I know. But when we say New Orleans is poor, we don’t mean it in a mid-western kind of way in that people are barely able to make their house and credit card payments, we mean, they inherited the house that’s been passed down for generations and no one in the family has made more than minimum wage if they’ve worked at all in as much time. Think Charles Dickens kinda poor. Not surprisingly, it appears that a lot of people used some or all of their FEMA money to buy cars. Ya have to wonder if maybe they’re not willing to take that gamble any more either.

Now if I lived somewhere outside of the area, I would still be holding on to my old view of hurricanes and wouldn’t find it reasonable to feel sorry for, or try to empathize with, someone in our situation. I’d be tired of hearing about it too and it would get on my nerves. I couldn’t possibly appreciate what its like to see a watermark on the house across the street every morning when I leave for work and think ‘yup, about waist high here’; but more than that, I just wouldn’t care and would be no worse off for not caring.

Kill yourself now because a huge meteor is coming which will cause a mass extinction of mammals ending the Cenozoic Era! When you ask? Well, I don’t know. Maybe never, you argue? Maybe, but it’s happened before. So we should have known this was going to happen, and we should have been more prepared or not live here at all. It’s a fine argument, especially from a place who’s had their collective asses handed to them by hurricanes more times than I can count. Or from someone who lives in California, or in the northeast, or Tornado Alley (damn, the name wasn’t a clue on that one??). Everywhere has its dangers, be it drowning in your attic, having a tornado drop a house on your sister, or an earthquake causing the ground to swallow you whole. Ultimately, what ever gets you, is probably something you should have seen coming…smoking? Drinking? Too much fatty food? Not getting any exercise? So unless a satellite falls out of the sky and hits you in the thought-maker then you probably have to say: “yeah, that seems about right” as your body hits the ground.

And yet, around half the city’s population has decided not to move back (at least not yet though probably won’t) and I can’t really blame them. I’ve thought about leaving my damn self on a number of occasions. But you know, I don’t think Julie, or Orlando, or the rest of the United States really gives a damn and at least Julie has the kiwis to say so - can’t be mad at her. Why would they care? The helicopters aren’t picking people off roofs, there aren’t dead bodies lying in the streets baking in the hot sun, no more of the mayor on the radio cursing like a long shoreman - the party’s over and now all there is left to do is clean up. And do you know what the only thing worse than having to clean up after a party is? Other people, who aren’t helping, bitching at you for not cleaning it up fast enough. Maybe we should look into getting a bigger mop so as to not irritate Orlando during their morning coffee. Someone look into that for me, hu.