Yes, I think with the TP’s new coastline graphic we should all begin to come to grips with our future. That graphic is dead on, but doesn’t bring in to play the possibility that a few more mega canes can add to the depletion of the coast at an even faster rate. We need to start looking for a new place to take over as a whole. We can be like the lost tribe of Israel and caravan onward until we find a nice spot in Washington Parish to call home. Okay, everyone write down where you want to go and we’ll put it at a vote. I think it would cost less to move Jackson Square and the Cathedral brick by brick than to wait for the government to rebuild the wetlands. There is a crazy guy in Arizona who rebuilt London Bridge. Las Vegas built a replica of New York and the Eiffel Tower. What’s the difference? We can do the same thing.
I know someone who is buying a home in Metairie. The house is a two story out by West Esplanande. The top floor is fine. The botttom floor has been re rocked and painted but has no kitchen or bathroom yet. Although this person has superior credit and his bank has allowed him a $190,000 line of credit to cover the purchase as well as the reconstruction, he is having problems getting into the house. The problem is insurance. He has talked to every major and minor insurance company in the phone book and noone will insure the house. Thus, it has come to the last resort of Louisiana citizen’s insurance. It is estimated that his construction time will be two and a half months. The only policy he can get to cover renovation time is $4000 to cover a whole year. Even though it will only take a few months, he has to pay for a whole year with no return on his money for finishing early.
Louisiana citizen’s wants $4000 besides the renovator’s insurance for the year which brings his first year homeowners insurance to $8,000. On a monthly note, that comes out to $666.66 a month. Is somebody fucking with us or what? The Great Satan is well at work here. So, this brings us to our next problem. The price and value of real estate here is starting to fall. So investing in a house, which in the past was a lock for a good investment, may be an actual negative investment in the near future. It seems like the middle of the road houses are at the most risk.
If some renovator guy buys a gutted house at $50,000 and renovates it for $50,000 he can sell the house for $150,000 and make $50,000. A young couple who can scrape up the funds to afford a $150,000 starter home may not have the extra funds to cover insurance. Therefore, someone who is selling their house to get funds to move on may not get a buyer because no one can afford the insurance costs added to their mortgage every month. I believe we are getting snafued here. Yes, everyone can bitch about the insurance companies, but would you invest your companies dollars into a region which is doomed? They are trying to make a profit just like every other business owner. Don’t get me wrong, when the CEO’s of Allstate finally pass away, they will be going to a place where they will get periodic sex changes with no anestesia performed by demon midgets with ice picks, but for now, they have all the cards.
So, what do we do? Everyone still yaps about bringing da people back. They ain’t coming back because they can’t financially do it. I can’t do it. I’m slowly paying off my debts to clear up my credit to possibly purchase a house, but what house can I afford? A dilapidated hunk of shit in the Hollygrove? I don’t think so. It would cost over a hundred thousand just to make it livable. 2020 is not that far away. 13 years goes by pretty fast. I’ll be 47. At 47, will I have the will to pack it up and start over? That water line was pretty fucking close if you ask me. So again, I come back to where we are going to go. Any ideas? I’ll call Atlas van lines and make reservations for 250,000 trucks. Let’s go make another part of the state a funky dirty den of crime and debauchery. We will be able to don Scuba gear and show our grandchildren where their parents were conceived. I think the people in Slidell will the clear winners here. The river will let out into Lake Maurepas and Slidell will soon be magnificent beach front property.
“At the Beach , At the Beach, at Pontchartrain Beach
You’ll have fun, You’ll have fun
Every day of the week.”
I got dibs on rebuilding the Wacky Shack!