Richard’s disposal II
You may remember that some three months ago I posted this. Then near the middle of August I mentioned the outcome in the fifth paragraph. Well apparently I George Bush Aircraft Carriered that shit a little too soon. Because a few weeks ago (the end of September) the can went missing. I had done everything they told me to: I spray painted the house number on it, but it’s still gone. I’ve been putting off calling them because they’re a nightmare to deal with. The customer service reps are some of the dumbest people I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with. They’re poorly educated, teeth smacking women who probably can’t spell customer service let alone provide it – not that I’m surprised.
This morning I broke down and called because its unfair to my tenant not to have a trash can although, collectively, we don’t fill up one can in a whole week. Still its my responsibility. So I was informed that I’d have to buy one. See the one that I never saw was the first one, the one they brought out was the replacement. And you only get one replacement and after that you have to buy them. But hey, it’s only $100. Hmmm, that seems like a bit much. I don’t mean that $100 is an unfair amount for a 96 Gallon trash can. I’m saying that requiring everyone in the city to have a 96 gallon trash can is a bit much. I live alone and the trash comes twice a week so its a little overkill. But you have to have a standard so I guess they used the Brady Bunch as a model.
A couple of things really bother me though. First of all, before all this happened I already had a trashcan and it was a pretty low stress deal. Someone actually littered a trashcan in my yard so I started using it. It was a good situation. It was a brownish 40 gallon job. Since this new, improved process was put in place by Mayor McFuck I’ve spent quiet a bit of time dealing with trash can issues. But hey, at least it’s more expensive. The other thing that bothers me is that they can’t really tell me how to keep someone from stealing one again. That was my concern last time and they basically lied and told me they have a tracking system. Well it hasn’t worked on the first two stolen cans, so what the fuck?!? You can’t chain them up, you can’t put your name one them, There’s really nothing you can do except buy the thing and stick it out to be stolen. And it isn’t like you can just run to Lowes and buy one – no fucking way – you have to buy them from the same people who insist you do nothing to keep them from getting stolen.
And in the grand scheme of things, this really isn’t important. It’s just like Chris Rose’s problem with parking tickets. Really, its a simple little thing that should be so easy and seamless that you never give it more of a thought than remembering to put the can on the curb the right day. It’s a fundamental city service that should, and in most cases is, taken completely for granted. But for me it has been a time consuming, unbearably frustrating pain in the ass and I see no reason to suspect it will not continue to plague me.
But hey, if they wanna play then we can play. Trash pickup is tomorrow morning so I think this evening, in addition to the regular garbage I’ll be filing up the rest of the empty space with water from the garden hose. If they’re lucky, I won’t dump in the extra 160 lbs of high strength concrete I happen to have left over from leveling the shanty. Bastards.