Likely:

• In Chicago, writing speeches for Obama’s erstwhile pastor.
• In Cuba, because he needs his annual physical and his local doctor can’t see him for another six months.
• At Chris Rose’s house, because that’s where the crazies live.
• At the Broadway South offices, because he’s sure to run into absolutely no one.

Less likely:

• At Home Depot, because he’s gotta make sure his sons do the [questionably legitimate] job right.
• In a squad car, because real police officers surely wouldn’t make blunders like that.

Hopefully:

• Resting upon the fragrant bosom of a hooker/actress/songwriter.
• Pinned beneath a burning 1979 Ford Pinto on top of an abandoned petroleum tank hundreds of miles from where anyone can hear him scream (or 300 yards from the nearest fire hydrant).

Related posts:

1. Yes there is a plan and Ray Ray’s the Leader
2. The 38th Most Unwired City
3. Primary ‘Lection Day 2006
4. Second Verse, same as the first
5. Overheard in Spanish Plaza