Bags of trash at unapproved addresses were left on sidewalks and
sprayed with an X to let SDT crews know not to collect them later. [NOLA.com]

In case you were wondering: No, FEMA hasn’t lost its knack for incompetence. And no, they still haven’t figured out this whole “public relations” thing:

Nearly five months after Hurricane Gustav, the public relations battle between Gov. Bobby Jindal and FEMA continues over who was to blame for the exasperating depletion of emergency food and water supplies soon after the storm….

FEMA’s argument, contained in a retort to comments made by Jindal last week, is that basically the responsibility for the problem lies with the storm victims of Louisiana, who gobbled up food and water at an “extraordinary” rate after Gustav swept through….

[NOLA.com]

Yes, you read that correctly: FEMA has blamed its less-than stellar response to Gustav on the people of Louisiana, who are gluttonous hoarders. To which I’d reply: Well, DUH. I mean, DIDN’T YOU ASSHATS KNOW THAT BEFOREHAND?

Sheesh, it’s like they’d never even visited.

And be sure to read the rest of that piece–especially the part where Jindal’s spokesperson, Melissa Sellers, uses the word “nutty” to describe FEMA’s claims. (So cute!) She insists that Louisianans would never hoard free MREs because they have such wonderful local cuisine. Of course, that’s kind of a non sequitur when you’re talking about post-hurricane recovery: as fabulous as our food may be, it’s hard to make a crawfish étouffée when your stove’s been blown out into the Gulf of Mexico.

Today’s Times-Picayune posted an interesting update on the current gay adoption conflamma. It seems that back in the heady days of helmet-hating Mike Foster, something called the “Commission on Marriage and Family” was established–presumably to talk about, you know, marriage and families and stuff. It’s never been very active, but the folks at Forum for Equality are concerned that the adoption case will spur the commission–which is now appointed by the similarly helmet-hating Bobby Jindal–to push new legislation banning gay adoption. That wouldn’t be surprising, given the fact that (a) we’re in the bright red state of Louisiana, and (b) the committee’s membership includes folks like Puritan-at-Large Tony Perkins. However, other members of the commission seem somewhat more level-headed:

Jindal appointee Gene Mills, Louisiana Family Forum director, said he believes gay rights advocates are simply overreacting to the Arkansas vote and California voters’ rejection of same-sex marriages. Mills’ group bills itself as “your voice for traditional families.” He said the commission could yield ideas such as continuing to make it harder to divorce; devoting more resources to job training for single parents; and increasing state prisoners’ opportunities to interact with their children.

But Mills and [commission chair Senator Sharon Weston Broome, D-Baton Rouge] demurred on the question of gay adoption. Mills said, “That’s really up to the Legislature.” Broome did not offer her position.

Asked through his aides about the commission and specifically about his position on gay adoption, Jindal released a one-sentence statement: “I believe family is the cornerstone of our society and look forward to the commission’s work on how we can do more to support healthy families.”

At least one member of the clergy serving on the commission said he has no intention of parroting views of the traditional social conservatives….

The Rev. Chris Andrews of First United Methodist Church in Baton Rouge said he wants to discuss ways to help all families, regardless of composition. He said he will resist any attempts to reduce the likelihood that a child might be adopted.

“In general, I would view adoption issues through the lens of whether an individual or couple has the ability to love and care for a child, ” Andrews said. “I do not think that is something that is limited to a particular sexual orientation.”

–full article at NOLA.com

Am I being a total Pollyanna? Am I putting too much faith in the common sense of our elected and appointed officials? Or am I being lazy? Probably all of the above.

Note: none of this is to say that I want kids–I have four dogs, which must be the equivalent of at least one child–but as an adoptee myself, I understand the value of placing kids in good homes. I fail to understand how anyone can argue against that.

Were you fool enough to ride out Katrina over by your mama’s house? After the storm, did the Boys in Blue putter by in a tricked-out swamp cruiser and declare that they would be better stewards of your Cadillac, your plasma TV, and your Remington 12-gauge? Well, Xmas has come early, kiddo: thanks to a new program overseen by the people who violated your Second Amendment rights in the first place, now you can get the 12-gauge back!

To retrieve your confiscated weapon, just read and follow the list of procedures below. Please note, however, that there’s no guarantee the NOPD has your firearm. (Sometimes they lose things. Nobody’s perfect!) But don’t let that stop you from saying a couple of quick novena’s to St. Jude and dropping by the Evidence Room. With a little luck and a little “palm grease”, you’ll be shooting yourself in the leg in no time!

Hurricane Katrina Firearms

City will return lawfully possessed firearms that came into possession of the New Orleans Police Department during the Hurricane Katrina period, August 29, 2005, to December 31, 2005.

What:
Those who may have had a firearm turned into the New Orleans Police during the Hurricane Katrina and aftermath period, August 29 to December 31, 2005, may apply for its return.

Who:
New Orleans Police Department

When:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Office hours, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Where:
1116 Magnolia Street, New Orleans, LA 70115

How:
Complete this Firearm Release Form and submit in person to the New Orleans Police Department.

Firearm Release Form Directions/FAQ

• This form only applies to firearms that came into the custody of the New Orleans Department during the period of Hurricane Katrina from August 29, 2005 to December 31, 2005.

• There is no guarantee that we have your firearm!

• IT ONLY APPLIES TO FIREARMS THAT WERE LAWFULLY POSSESSED.

• IF IT CAME INTO CUSTODY AS THE RESULT OF AN ARREST OR MUNICIPAL CITATION, OR IF IT IS EVIDENCE, THE FIREARM REQUIRES A COURT ORDER BEFORE IT MAY BE RELEASED.

• The form must be submitted with all fields completed in order to identify the proper firearm.

• IF UNKNOWN OR NOT APPLICABLE, LEAVE THE FIELD BLANK.

• The Form should be submitted in person to the New Orleans Police Department.

• The Claimant is the firearm owner and the person who fills out the form.

• Once NOPD receives the completed form which sets forth the specific identifying characteristics, a search for the firearm will be conducted.

• If the search is successful, the Claimant will be asked to personally examine and verify ownership.

• Only the Claimant may come in and inspect the firearm.

• Proper identification, such as a driver’s license or state ID, will be required at the inspection.

• The Claimant’s name will be run through a background check to determine if the Claimant is legally able to possess a firearm.

• If it is determined that a particular firearm is in fact Claimant’s, the Claimant will be required to sign the Affidavit part at the bottom of the form at the Evidence Room.

• The Claimant will also be required to complete a Release and Hold Harmless Agreement, agreeing to indemnify the City should a dispute arise as to the ownership of a firearm returned under these procedures.

• This Release and Hold Harmless form must be signed in front of a Notary Public.

• Once this release is returned by the Claimant to the Evidence Room, the firearm will be released to the Claimant.

• Children should not be brought to the Evidence Room.

If there are any questions, please contact Sgt Robert Blanchard at (504) 658-5550

Note: This is only for lawfully possessed firearms for the applicable period, and does not apply to any firearm that is being held as evidence in a case or investigation.

–via the always unintentionally entertaining CityOfNO.com.

Hey, New Orleans: is it just me, or is Doug MacCash a total douchebag?

I’ve had a beef with the guy for years–largely because of his policies on reviewing visual arts exhibitions. And let’s not even discuss his “taste level” (as a reviewer or as an artist). But now with Prospect.1, MacCash has given me a whole new set of things to complain about.

Full disclosure: I’m pretty close to Prospect.1, but even with that taken into account, it would seem to me, or to any fan of the visual arts, that MacCash simply doesn’t get what Prospect.1 is meant to be. More fundamentally: it seems MacCash has no idea what a biennial is meant to be.

Let’s go back to the weekend Prospect.1 opened. You know what got the cover focus of Lagniappe, the Picayune‘s arts and entertainment pullout? A haunted house. A freaking haunted house–instead of the largest international exhibition of contemporary art ever coordinated in the US. A freaking haunted house–instead of a major coup for the city of New Orleans and its citizens. A freaking haunted house–instead of a massive event that could drive tourism and the cultural economy for months to come.

Then there’s today’s article on the Universal Furniture building in the Bywater, which is being used for a P.1. exhibition of Pierre & Gilles’ work, as well as a group show by local artists. In his lead-in, MacCash says:

[Prospect.1] was a good news, bad news story for Crescent City artists. The good news: Big-time New York art curator Dan Cameron planned to produce the largest contemporary art show in U.S. history, drawing thousands of well-heeled collectors and art tourists. The bad news: The vast majority of New Orleans artists weren’t invited to be in it.

It’s as if MacCash’s understanding of the international art scene stops at the parish line. As if he’d expect the biennials at Venice or the Whitney to feature exclusively Venetian or New York artists, respectively. As if he’s disappointed to see leading contemporary artists from around the globe showing their work in New Orleans. For free.

As though that weren’t bad enough, MacCash then gives square footage to the ever-clueless Andy Antippas, who complains that P.1 is “elitist”. To which I say: WELL OF COURSE IT’S ELITIST: IT’S ABOUT THE BEST NEW WORK IN THE WORLD, BITCH.

My take: elitism is a necessary evil. It’s what keeps music, fashion, literature, design, food–everything moving forward. It’s what we do every time we say, “I’m over that, let’s move on.” You and I, we practice it ourselves every day. So, Mr. Antippas, yes, it’s elitist. BFD. You want to put together a show of grandmotherly string art from the YWCA, do it on your own dime.

New Orleans has moved beyond parochialism in so many ways, especially since The Storm. Sure, it lingers in the culinary arts, but we rule the school on that front: we can afford to be a little snooty. Visual arts, on the other hand? I mean, some of my best friends are artist, and there’s definitely some good stuff going on here, but c’mon…

I think I’ve made it pretty clear, my feelings about gay marriage and state constitutional amendments banning it. In sum: I think the institution of marriage is deeply flawed, and its origins are misunderstood by the general public. I think the conflation of religious marriage and civil marriage in practice and in law is troublesome, to say the least. And although we live in a democracy, I’m dubious about civil rights issues being put in the hands of voters. If we’d done that in the 1950s and 1960s, we’d still be marching to Montgomery.

Some folks who are more activist-minded than I am are organizing a series of rallies this Saturday against hate and in support of gay marriage rights. If you’re in New Orleans, meet at City Hall, 1300 Perdido Street, at 12:30pm. (There’s more info over here .) If you’re not in New Orleans, (a) I’m sorry to hear that, and (b) check this page for state-by-state listings, including another Louisiana protest in Shreveport.

Finally: I’m pretty sure that most of you have seen this editorial from Keith Olbermann, and the majority of you probably don’t need convincing, but for both of the rest of you, have a look.

Bruce Alpert at the Picayune has written a completely speculative article (framed as “news”) about Obama’s plans to ignore Gulf Coast recovery. If you’re not up for reading the entire goddess-awful thing–and really, who could blame you?–Alpert basically says that Katrina won’t be on Obama’s list of priorities, then spends the bulk of the piece getting quotes from Bobby Jindal, Dollar Bill, Mary Landrieu, and our other hamstrung senator who’s been in hiding so long that I can’t even remember his name. Of course, there’s nothing from Obama at all, and the “writer” obviously didn’t bother to do much Googling, because if he had, he’d have stumbled across this:

As president, Barack Obama will keep the broken promises made by President Bush to rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. He and Joe Biden will take steps to ensure that the federal government will never again allow such catastrophic failures in emergency planning and response to occur.

Barack Obama swiftly responded to Hurricane Katrina. Citing the Bush administration’s “unconscionable ineptitude” in responding to Hurricane Katrina, Obama introduced legislation requiring disaster planners to take into account the specific needs of low-income hurricane victims. Obama visited thousands of Hurricane survivors in the Houston Convention Center and later took three more trips to the region. He worked with members of the Congressional Black Caucus to introduce legislation to address the immediate income, employment, business and housing needs of Gulf Coast communities.

As president, Barack Obama will partner with the people of the Gulf Coast to rebuild now, stronger than ever.

So where was that? On Change.gov, the president-elect’s official transition website that outlines his incoming agenda. You know: the agenda the reporter was criticizing? Oops.

In light of all that, the Alpert kinda comes off like Dawn French in that skit where she plays the British royal “expert” who’s got zero insider info and is clearly a total hack. You know the one I mean. (I’d insert it here if the Metblogs backend weren’t so tight about such things. Snore.)

Now, just so we’re clear: I have no problem criticizing the president. In fact, we could and should have had a LOT more of that in the early days of W’s administration. (Remember back in 2001 how excited we were that Bush could form complete sentences? And how, after September 11, questioning him was made to seem unpatriotic–nay, an act of terrorism? Who was grilling the man then?) No one is perfect, and everyone should be held to task. Everyone.

That said, at least let the man take office before you start blaming him for his failure to undo all the crap that’s been left by the previous administration. In the meantime, maybe the Picayune should try its hand at reporting, say, news.

UPDATE: Obama’s agenda is down for revisions. Good news? Bad news? Killer bees nesting in the circuitry? The breath, she is bated.

UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: Obama’s agenda is back online, with the Katrina section intact.

I hope you have them. By that I mean plans to vote tomorrow, November 4th. That is unless you already have taken part in early voting (good job). I know you have heard it everywhere. I should vote, you should vote we should all vote, Why? because we are lucky enough to live in a country that allows us to vote, period. Sure you can not exercise your right to vote in the same way that you never stop by that cute little boutique, it’s there but you have never needed anything it offers so you have never stopped to check it out.
Well, maybe this time you should, that is all I am saying. Take a minute and really think about it, are you sure you don’t need anything from the voting store? If you are sure then don’t vote but if you are thinking you might want to see what is being offered and maybe pick something up then stop by your local voting booth and cast your vote for the candidate of your choice. To see your voting location and to see a sample ballot look here. To see some differences between the two big ones check that out here.

I’m really surprised by this one because, based on all the stuff I’m hearing on the news, the Christians have been coming out in force to vote. From the beginning, the Witnesses have been pacifists and were banned in some countries for being so. They have also been criticized for being too authoritarian with their congregation.

Yesterday, a little old lady came to the door to talk to me about the Jehovah Witnesses and Jesus. I’m OK with this as long as I can talk about politics as well. I asked the lady if she was going to vote. She said she had already voted…for Jesus. She told me that the bible told her that God is above all governments and that he would save her. I told her that old joke about the guy who was drowning in the ocean. A boat came by and asked if he needed saving. “God will save me,” he said. He told that to the next boat and the boat after. Then he drowned. When he went up to heaven, he asked God why he didn’t save him. God said “I sent you three boats. What more did you want?” “What if Obama is the boat?” I asked her. “What if the world is still messed up when he gets in?” she asked in return. Fair enough. But, I still think everyone should be voting.

I like the Quakers. Their Friends Committe on National Legislation promotes responsible, peaceful policy. They also write really good letters, which I have been know to copy full text and send to my representatives in the big house. You don’t have to be a Quaker to agree with their stand on the war (war is not the answer). Their other  remits include equality and justice for all, fulfilling every person’s potential and protecting the Earth. Oh my. They sound like socialists.

Great: first comes insult, and now, injury:

Blakely gave an interview last week to The Times-Picayune in which he said he needed to talk with his wife and with the mayor about whether to stay for a third year in New Orleans. Since then, Blakely has alternately called the newspaper story a “false report” and reiterated his intentions to consider his options.

Yesterday, the mayor made his first public comments on the subject, telling television reporters that he thinks Blakely will stay, but confirming that he’d have to discuss it with his aide in December.

Nagin tried to dismiss Blakely’s interview with The Times-Picayune by saying, “I think a reporter sat him down after he had a couple bottles of wine, he got a little too relaxed and started talking about how homesick he was….”

“He has done, in my opinion, a lot of great work. I don’t think this recovery would be where it is today without his great work.”

–more from the fucktard at NOLA.com

So not only is Nagin doing that thing again–you know, where he talks out his ass?–but he’s trying to convince his Partner in Asshattery to stick around and screw us over for another couple of years. Neat.

Frankly, I think the happy couple ought to take a pied-a-terre in the Pontalba and invite fellow whackjob Chris Rose over for a few more bottles of hooch. Who knows where things might go–though, in my dreams, all three wake up naked and spent on an iceberg north of the Artic Circle. Maybe Ms. Palin would rescue them and put them to work on her 2012 presidential campaign? Adorbs.

UPDATE: Bitch cannot seem to make up his mind.