All the news that’s not.

the gothmagnet herself

Ms. Rice, the best-selling author of 25 books, including the lush and original Interview With the Vampire, has a passionate following and an unusually intimate relationship with her audience. She reacted to the criticism [of Blood Canticle] with shock and horror….

The New York Times

Maybe it came as a shock to Ms. Rice, but I think the rest of us already knew that Anne’s writing has devolved into derivative, formulaic, lowest-common-denominator crap. Running a lead item on it in The New York Times is as redundant as outing Nathan freaking Lane or saying that Mary Tyler Moore has had “a little work done.”

Now, don’t get me wrong: I think Anne’s a great lady. She’s a right-on sister, a supporter of the First Amendment, a friend of the homos, a generous philanthropist, a relentless preservationist and an outspoken critic of the Man With Barbie-Doll Hair Plugs Otherwise Known as Al Copeland. But c’mon, Anne, you’re a hack: accept it and revel in it! Rejoice in the fact that you can make more moolah in two months of sitting at your computer than many people amass in decades of manual labor! Thrill to the long lines that await you at every single book-signing and the GloomBetty stalkers lurking outside each of your beautiful homes! Hold your head high and take comfort in the fact that you know exactly what sells and can reproduce it ad infinitum! These are rare gifts that few others possess–I mean, just look at poor Norman Mailer.

Yo, bottom line: your science is tight, baby! Your writing itself may not be art, but when it comes to technique, you got mad skillz.

2 Comments so far

  1. Tyler (unregistered) on October 12th, 2004 @ 1:20 pm

    But then again her Titanic skills have always found their best outlet when she unleashes one of those vitriolic, over-the-top, gotta-watch-this-car-wreck self-published diatribes. Over her long and disheveled career she has managed to print not a few of those blistering open letters. I love them. I think of them as part of the persona: she’s a Norma Desmond of hack writers. Her talents aren’t minuscule, she vamps: it was the books that got smaller!


  2. richard (unregistered) on October 12th, 2004 @ 1:43 pm

    Yes, Tyler, I’d have to agree with you: when it comes to nutty, bilious, letters to the editor, no one can churn ’em out quite like Our Lady of the Undead. Truth be told, I’d rather read a collection of those than pick up one of her decidedly-not-novel novels….



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