“I open the door and there’s [a politician] dressed in a corset with a bottle of Dom Perignon hanging by a rope tied to his balls”

That was the image described by Canal Street Madame Jeanette Maier during last week’s “Ringside Politics” forum when asked about the predilections of her (former) clients who held office. It seems some arrived at the brothel already rarin’ to go. Interestingly, her colorful description followed a hilarious query from the Flaming Liberal which I’ll reprint verbatim:

“Ms. Maier, when the Jimmy Swaggart/Christian right-wing conservative types would frequent your business establishment did you ever happen to ever overhear any of them, in a moment of relief, shout out “OH JESUS!”?

The Flaming Liberal (also known as Elwood) had several other zingers during the forum, and became quick friends with Ms. Maier, who kindly “escorted” him throughout the festive atmosphere at Le Chat Noir. Later on, while she was selling her erotic cd’s (“Burning Rubbers with the Madam”, vol 1) she insisted that Elwood (who is blind) feel her massive breasts. That took a while. I purchased one of the cd’s and got her personalized autograph, purely for research purposes of course. See, Ms. Maier did declare that “she’ll be running for [some office]” in the near future. Her platform will likely include the legalization of marijuana and prostitution, and the repeal of sodomy laws.

Nonetheless, the Madam made no specific newsworthy revelations last Wednesday night, but she winked to the audience several times when referring to Saints players, current City Council members, and former Governors. And apparently the politicians were some of the freakiest. Ms. Maier had to build a fully stocked “dungeon” to accomodate their slavish fantasies. She also said that some of them would make racially insensitive comments on those occasions when all the white prostitutes were occupied and only women of color were available. (For the record, she implied that they grinned and “bared” it rather than wait for the preferred skin tone.)

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