Dude, change the channel, isn’t there an earthquake or some shit on?

Yeah, when that bus exploded, that was cool. But we’ve been left high and dry since. Swarm of locusts? As if. Frog storm? Nowhere. Fire in Galveston, yeah, whatever. Zombies? Famine? Plague? Aliens? Asteroid? Meteor? ?? Rapture?? I’m getting impatient.

BORRRING!!

Can’t something be done here? I called Domino’s like one hour ago and ordered a pestilence with extra cheese, and a side of drought. Not delivered. Not even a ration of famine. I’m sick of this shit. I need some cataclysm. CNN got me hooked. Something, man, just give me some catastrophe. I have this awful feeling that the world’s not coming to an end, and I need a fix. Anthrax? Anyone?

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