My federal Valentine

My federal valentine
Sweet, comic valentine
You make my brain hurt a lot.
Your budget is laughable
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

At a time when Louisiana is begging for a fair share of oil and gas royalties from the federal government, everyone’s favorite President, Giant W. Douche George W. Douche Bush is apparently considering waiving $7 billion in royalty payments by oil companies drilling in federal waters over the next five years.

What this means is that up to $65 billion of oil and natural gas will use our infrastructure and erode our shores without contributing a dime for wear and tear. As some of you may already know, Louisiana, thanks to a POS named Leander Perez, has already being screwed out of billions of dollars of oil and gas royalty payments by the federal government. Much more so than any other state. To add insult to injury, more oil and natural gas flows through Louisiana than any other state.

Baker Bill? “No thank you,” says GWB. Fair oil and gas royalties? “No, can’t support that, the federal government needs that revenue” says GWB. Comprehensive coastal restoration plan? “Uh, no, we need more science.”

And yet, there’s $7 billion (half of the proposed coastal restoration plan) that this douche can scrape up to give to cronies in the oil business.

Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed. I don’t really expect more from the boil on the ass of reason that Louisiana residents voted for TWICE. After all, he can’t get elected again unless he invents another unconstitutional “war power.” But his oil buddies, they’ll be in a much better position to write Douche’s $5 million appearance fee checks with an extra $7 billion in their pockets.

13 Comments so far

  1. NO_Doc (unregistered) on February 14th, 2006 @ 5:23 pm

    OK, I am as guilty as voting for Bush as anyone. But that is just wrong. I mean WRONG wrong, like in the time-traveler-shacking-up-with-his-own-grandmother kinda wrong. It’s one thing to tell us we can’t have the Baker bill because the Fed doesn’t have the cash. But to turn around and bend over for the oil companies like that just pisses me off.

    There’s times when my human nature wishes my Christian side would take a break so I could go postal on some people who are truely deserving. Oh well. guess I am gonna just have to settle for becoming a political activist. Like with these guys.

    See ya at the voting booth!


  2. FDR (unregistered) on February 14th, 2006 @ 5:53 pm

    “After all, he can’t get elected again unless he invents another unconstitutional “war power.”

    Didn’t know he could run again…

  3. Cade Roux (unregistered) on February 14th, 2006 @ 7:54 pm

    “We need to remember the primary reason that incentives are given,” said Johnnie M. Burton, director of the federal Minerals Management Service, according to the report. “It’s not to make more money, necessarily. It’s to make more oil, more gas, because production of fuel for our nation is essential to our economy and essential to our people.”

    Ummm, no actually. You boss Bush said we need to wean ourselves off the oil and we were going to spend more money on scientist geniuses who will save us.

  4. roux (unregistered) on February 14th, 2006 @ 8:08 pm

    I hate to say this but we screwed ourselves a long time ago, way before GW was born. This is nothing new and now your are blaming him because of our past stupidity.

    I’m sympathetic to NOLA and I think La. does deserve a bigger percentage but to blame President Bush is misguided.

    Unfortunately, we have elected a bunch of morons to represent us. Things will get worse before they get better but I do believe they will get better.

  5. Joe B. (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 1:37 am

    A couple of things…supposedly Louisiana gets more federal money than it spends. Supposedly we get a lot of revenue from fees charged by pilots to bring ships up the Mississippi. Supposedly there’s blame enough to go around for the levee failure at all levels of government.

    I claim apples to oranges on a lot of that stuff. GEB made some promises, but he doesn’t appear to want to actually keep any of them. We seem to have been a photo op writ large.


    This budget is just what’s been proposed. The president doesn’t actually spend money. That’s Congress’s job. But he does occupy a bully pulpit and when he doesn’t support plans that enable Louisiana to help itself, it hurts real people. Real people trying to get by every day.

    I suspect, but don’t know, that oil and gas royalties are a constant across states and that we just get a smaller percentage than everyone else. So it’s conceivable that we won’t suffer more traffic as a result of this waiver, if approved. I suspect, but don’t know, that this waiver does mean that states get cut out of their share of that $7 billion. We lose regardless. And it becomes increasingly obvious that Bush doesn’t mean to spend any political capital to help us.

    Bush can’t run again, unless, as in the domestic spying situation, he invents a political reason to circumvent the constitution, which I doubt he could pull off. I was being facetious with my earlier comment. We have screwed ourselves a long time ago, but his actions earn him some of the blame. Louisiana has been asking for fair sharing of oil and gas royalties for a number of years. He could support that, but he chooses not to do so. He could support home-grown recovery plans that seek to minimize the damage done by failed federally-planned and overseen levees, but he doesn’t. My finger-pointing at Bush is not meant to blame him for the situation, but for his lack of action in fixing it.

  6. roux (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 8:17 am

    I agree that the President could do more but I don’t think that the rest of the country has the political will to help. We’ve behaved badly and sympathy is between shit and syphillis in the dictionary.

    I don’t think it helps to constantly bite the hand that could save you. IMO Bush is focused on GWOT and not much else.

    BTW I do know that the state has a pot full of money to help south La. and for some reason is not spending it. The administration has control over most of it. All I can think is KBB is going to use it for her projects or as a carrot to influence the pols in the real legislative session later this year.

  7. Aaron (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 12:06 pm

    No, the state does not have “a pot full of money” to help South Louisiana. The state has a $1 billion deficit in a $16 billion total budget, and the feds are not giving them any money to help with that. I don’t know where you get your facts or your accronyms, but they’re both wrong.

  8. Markus (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 12:59 pm

    Wait, we get revenues from pilot fees? I think I just found another plank in my platform for office. I think, what, about $1 million per vessel would be reasonable. At least until we start getting 50% of offshore and a 100% Baker Bill. Any disagreement?

  9. Markus (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 2:37 pm

    If you know the details about pilot fees, seriously, drop me a line to TIA

  10. Laurie (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 5:39 pm

    The mineral rights were not put up for the public to vote on!

    This is theft!

    It was unconstitutional then it is unconstitutional now!!


  11. Laurie (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 5:58 pm

    That’s it!!!

    Shut down the rigs and go alternate energy!!

    Drop the rigs for reefs, all the fuckin’ rigs!

    The Dutch plan is a load of shit!!

    Or are we gonna’ wait around for the fault line to shake all

    the pipes loose and completely ruin the Gulf of Mexico, and all of

    Louisianas wildlife and fisheries?!!!


  12. Dan (unregistered) on February 15th, 2006 @ 7:17 pm

    I give up. Dubya is the anti-christ.

  13. Laurie (unregistered) on February 16th, 2006 @ 11:01 pm

    Dear Florida and Alabama,

    I wish you luck keeping the rigs out of the gulf!

    You guys do realize that there are fault lines which run there

    and the oil people are full well aware of it; they just see short

    term maximum turn over fuck the people and wildlife and fisheries

    that make the area unique.

    Say no!

    Louisiana wasn’t giving a choice, it was unconstitionally forced on us.


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