Dan Frazier, you survived Hurricane Katrina…What are you going to do now?

“I’m going to Disney World!”

I feel like Aaron Brooks after the Saints won the Super Bowl. Oh wait, that never happened. Oh well I feel like someone after they won the Super Bowl then. (BTW, who did win this year’s SB? Anyone? I was too busy to notice.)

I’m checking out for 6 days starting Thursday. I have a friend whom, since Katrina and stop me if this sounds familiar, has taken a turn for the worse. Don’t wanna bring ya down but cancer and hurricanes just don’t mix well so we are off to enjoy something while we still can.

Since we really are living in Fantasy Land here (might be a horrible, misguided fantasy but a fantasy nonetheless), we figured the real FantasyLand might be a nice break.

I took another tour of the city yesterday, Memorial Day. Not only a day to remember the American’s who sacrificed so much to make America the country it is but it took on a new meaning for us here, a day to remember those lost to Katrina.

As my mind wondered to Mickey and Minnie and Goofy and Donald (who is my favorite), the pieces fell into place on how we can kick-start the rebuilding. And who better to help than those fine Disney folks. Close your eyes and imagine the possibilities of Walt Orleans World.

Canal Street USA (a.k.a. Main Street USA): Catch the trolley and tour the wonders of Walt Orleans World. See the Walgreen’s that was looted on National TV! Stand on the spot where the rumored “shark” was swimming during Katrina! Look at the hotels Mayor Nagin wanted to turn into casinos! See where Anderson Cooper told America “This is not only a tragedy, it’s an AMERICAN tragedy!”

LakeviewLand (a.k.a. Frontierland): The best rides are here. Slide down the 17th street canal where the destruction all started! See how long it takes you to fill a sandbag! Match the houses in the street to the slabs where they use to stand! Watch the Corp of Engineers rebuild the levees as they try to not re-create “Splash Mountain”! See what the inside of a FEMA trailer really looks like!

Gentilly Square (a.k.a. Liberty Square): View the hundreds of homes that are empty! Are they “haunted”? The thrills you may find in the attic are unlike anything you can imagine! View thousands of household appliances go up in flames at the Gentilly Square Landfill! See if you can spot a refrigerator just like the one in your own home! Follow the brown water line from place to place…just like Hansel and Gretel and the breadcrumbs!

Mid-City Land (a.k.a. Adventureland): This is where all the tired tourists will head for some grub. Taste some of Craig Giesecke’s cheese! Have a “bowl” of beer at Luizza’s! Take a slow cruise around the City Park Lagoons and let that tasty food digest! Mid-city land has something for everyone to enjoy!

ChocoEast World (a.k.a. Tommorrowland): The hit of Walt Orleans World! Become a true New Orleanian as you and your family are dipped in chocolate! Plus you can break off the shell and eat it! See “true” American’s turn their backs on the Vietnamese community, as their area is turn into an un-needed landfill! Visit the Plaza nightly for the Willy Ray Nagin variety show! He sings, he dances, he offends and is still Our Mayor! Plus keep an eye out for some special Ray Nagin Chocolate! It’s made with 100% white milk!
And the kids will just love how it’s never ever crowded! No waiting in lines at ChocoEast World!

Sliver by the River Land (a.k.a. Fantasyland): See the uptowners ask what the big deal is, we still got our homes! Ride the St Charles Trolley for the “it’s a small minded world after all” festival! Spin all day long on the “Tom Benson Tea Party”! After spinning you’ll feel as drunk as Tom Benson! See if you can spot the teacup with a chipped lip! It was built from “displaced china”!

CBD Toon Fair (a.k.a. Mickey’s Toontown Fair): Visit the Mayor’s lair where Doug Brinkley says he broke down and cried! Ride the world’s first rollercoaster built on top of a football stadium! Pick up a piece of roof as a “keepsake” of your great time in Walt Orleans World! See the world’s most dysfunctional government office, City Hall! Visit the Katrina Hall of Shame and see if you can match the “official quotes” that turned out to be wrong with the person who told the world ” I heard the levees get blown up”!

Who needs the feds? Whoever is in charge at Disney, give me a call when you’re ready to build a REAL amusement park.

5 Comments so far

  1. Todd 10-30 (unregistered) on May 30th, 2006 @ 4:31 pm

    I’ll have to make a copy of this post for a park guide.

    I too will be in the land of Walt, apparently the exact same days as you, Dan. (You trend setter.)

    Have a wonderful trip!


  2. Laurie (unregistered) on May 30th, 2006 @ 6:28 pm

    Take a picture with Pluto for me!

    Laurie


  3. roux (unregistered) on May 30th, 2006 @ 7:00 pm

    Maybe you could have a little train ride where the gangs and lootere attack and then you are saved by the National Guard led by Gen. Honore.


  4. Dan Frazier (unregistered) on May 31st, 2006 @ 6:15 am

    picture with Pluto- check

    trend setter…..yeah right


  5. Laurie (unregistered) on May 31st, 2006 @ 1:42 pm

    Thanks,

    I just realized you forgot pick up a shovel and help fill in Mr. Go.

    You know, those big piles of sand you played on as a kid

    think humongous and miles long on bothe sides of the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Laurie



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