Hey La Ba! Red Beans and Rice!

What’s going on New Orleans nation? Did you miss me? I didn’t think so. I went on a diplomatic mission to Iceland to bring Hydrogen fuel technology to the lower 9th ward. They gave me a bucket of Hydrogen but now I’m not sure what to do with it. Let me begin by saying I am now on a strict diet which in affect makes me almost a vegetarian. Being someone who cannot completely commit, I reserve one day a week to eat any kind of hot garbage I can get my hands on. This leads me to my journey to McDonald’s last weekend. I understand we are having a shortage when it comes to fast food workers, but do they absolutely have to hire the dumbest people they can bribe off the street to work for them? I would rather be closed down than to present these mutant, borderline autistic bottom feeders to represent my company.

The fact that it took thirteen minutes to get out of a fast food place that was completely empty except for myself was not the biggest problem. In those thirteen minutes I witnessed quite a few events worth mentioning. First, the order was made and of course was wrong. I went inside by the way, its easier to fix the problem when you can watch them. In remaking the order, several cars were backed up at the drive through. Meat head number one who was on grill duty started to argue with the she meat head on the counter. There was a tirade of profanity slinging between the two. As this is going on, she meat head number three was frying some shit while having a fight with her boyfriend which went something like this:” No Muh Fucka you bring it heeyah! I ain’t got no caw! I gonna wawk down to da house? You got da caw! Bring me dat shit ba t’day Bitch!” As I panned the building to see if anyone else was seeing this, I noticed the guy who wipes tables and picks up garbage. His pants were almost around his knees. That is what I want my little children to see when going on an afternoon treck to McDonald’s. Yes, would you bring your kids to a place where the employees show man ass and low slung boxers? I think not.

I think Micky D’s needs to have some surprise visits from regional HQ. I gotta go, nice talking to you.

Hail Ming!

The End

10 Comments so far

  1. Kevin (unregistered) on May 1st, 2007 @ 2:49 pm

    Paul, I’m with ya in spirit…but slagging Mackey’s for bad food and service is kinda like slagging Wal-Mart for not carrying bespoke suits and Hepplewhite chairs, eh?

  2. paul p (unregistered) on May 1st, 2007 @ 2:55 pm

    I know I know, I hadn’t posted anything in a while
    and life has been quite dull lately. I hadn’t had fast food in four weeks and wanted to make sure it was as bad as I had remembered.

  3. Craig (unregistered) on May 1st, 2007 @ 3:15 pm

    The sad thing about this is that when I am seriously jonesing to satisfy that fast-food need, I go to the McDonald’s at St. Charles and Louisiana because this kind of service is BETTER than at the Rally’s across Louisiana.

    The end of it for me came when I pulled up to the EMPTY drive-thru lane and got some gibberish thru the speaker. Thinking they were asking for my order, I gave it. Then I sat there…

    ….for a LONG time….

    …without response….

    …finally driving forward as cars began stacking up behind me. I get to the window and the derelict opens it, looks at me and says, “I TOLD you to wait!”

  4. Mr. B (unregistered) on May 1st, 2007 @ 3:24 pm

    Which McDonalds was that? Most of the ones I find myself at operate like well-oiled machines.

  5. Paulp (unregistered) on May 1st, 2007 @ 4:08 pm

    I went to the McDonald’s on Airline “Drive” at Labarre. It’s right before you get to Causeway Blvd in Metairie. Mr. B? Are you affiliated with McDonald’s in some way? Just Kidding.

  6. Puddinhead (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2007 @ 7:52 am

    On the subject of fast food “service”…

    Something I’ve been noticing in the past year or so as more and more fast food joints in Orleans are reopening…sort of a reversal of sorts seems to me to be going on. Friday is “Fast Food Friday” for me since going back to work post-K, and the lunch stop might come either in Mid-City or Metairie, depending on the timing of things. I’ve noticed that the Mickey D’s, Burger Kings, etc. in New Orleans that have recently reopened seem to not only be being kept cleaner than the ones along Vets–the service actually seems to be closer to what you’d expect if you walked into one of the corresponding joints anywhere in Middle America, at least compared to the Metairie spots. Anyone else noticing this? I don’t expect this to endure–I’m sure the service and cleanliness will equalize shortly…Maybe Regional has been sticking some hotshot managers into the recently opening stores, and we’ll have the benefit of that until they get pulled back out or something?

  7. Patti (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2007 @ 2:13 pm

    The McD’s in Algiers are both terrible, and one is brand new. They’re always out of stuff and the service is rude (much like your post). It’s not just McD’s though – the BK was out of meat at Christmastime!!

  8. KamaAina (unregistered) on May 4th, 2007 @ 6:43 pm

    Okay. Fast food sucks. The “food” sucks. The service sucks. And in New Orleans (or even Metry), of all places, it really has no reason to exist. “In other places they eat to live, but in New Orleans, we live to eat.”

    But really, “I would rather be closed down than to present these mutant, borderline autistic bottom feeders to represent my company.”? First of all, I can assure you that if Mickey D’s has any employees with autism, or any other disability, they’re put in the back where no one can see them. Secondly, I know of at least one adult with autism who has a Yale degree, recently visited New Orleans, regularly leaves comments on several top NOLA blogs, and is looking for a way to put his considerable talents to work rebuilding the city where he was once so well accepted he wasn’t even the most unusual or eccentric person on his block! If he ever gets back, I (oops, the cat’s out of the bag!) hope to put all talk of “mutant bottom feeders” to rest for once and all.

  9. Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little (unregistered) on May 6th, 2007 @ 11:43 pm

    This has nothing to do with the actual content of the blog post here, but I feel compelled to point out that the title’s more properly spelled “Eh, La-bas!” Only because that was the name of my high school’s semiannual literary magazine. And also this musical ensemble here.

    Thank you. And now, back to the food gab, already in progress.

  10. Paulp (unregistered) on May 7th, 2007 @ 1:27 pm

    Sorry about the misspelled words. I will turn in my
    Naturally N’awlins membership badge to the nearest
    N.O.P.D. substation.

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