I Love…

I love Jazz-fest week. And French Quarter Fest week. And Zurich Classic week. And Mardi Gras month. And on and on and on. Only in New Orleans suckers. (Suckers meaning everyone that doesn’t live here. Sorry).

I love when our Mayor calls out other cities for being dirty…when we lead the nation in crap stuck to the sides of the interstates.

I love the U.S. Congress, both Republicans and Democrats. Thanks for the infusion of some much needed cash guys and gals!! Who said these people only play party politics?

I love Governor Kathleen Blanco’s Road Home Program. Did you hear that the program is almost out of money-already? And still only 60,000 more people to turn away when the pennies run out. Just fan-fucking-tastic.

I love smelling the French Quarter at 5am in the morning now. Walking the dog makes me feel so lemony fresh for some reason.

I love the gun wacko’s, especially after a TOTAL NUT takes out 32 people. Did anyone else notice the death total was 33 until the media stopped counting the NUT killing HIMSELF? Maybe that should be a “I love the media rant” but Laureen seems to handle that one nicely. While we’re on that…

I love the people who scream for “community radio”. Peeps, you’ve got community radio in this city already. It’s called Public Radio for a reason. If you wanna talk about saving every piece of shit dump in this city, knock yourself out. Nobody will be listening, just ask 99.5.

I love my friend Daniel and Ella who just had their first child. Just one word of advice- Get the Hell outta New Orleans before that child has to go to school.

I love the Teachers Union in Louisiana. We’re all about educating the children. Except when we want to close schools during the school week so we can go protest for more pay. Too late for parents to find a baby-sitter or make other arrangements? Eh, too bad, I really need that 1500$ and hell those kids are living on the streets anyway, one extra day won’t hurt.

I love the people who have no right to be in America. Who claim to have a right to be here because they broke our laws. My guess is on this blog, Jack and I might be the only two to say WTF? Maybe PaulP too.

I love the new plastic trash cans in the quarter. Driving home is now like a obstacle course. The cans, the potholes, the homeless peeps dying in the gutter. Just turn left right left right left and you won’t hit a thing.

I love the fact that the cans weren’t really distributed throughout the quarter. I had 3 cans in front of my house and the city doesn’t even know anyone lives there. They were passing these things out like candy at freaking Halloween. Didn’t matter if you asked for a can or not. You got one…or three.

I also loved that I filled one of my cans up right away and rolled it to the curb. Where it sat full for 4 days because they never came and dumped it. Nice job I guess.

I love that I will never eat at Fiorellia’s in the Quarter again. Jesus people, how bout a bath now and again. What a waste of a true New Orleans classic.

I love I love that American Idol is giving back. As they begged you to send them money to distribute. Again WTF? Giving back means you give back those billions of dollars you’ve made off your crappy TV show and your even more crappy music albums. How bout you losers give me back the three minutes of my life that I’ve lost by watching that crap once. Because I was tied to a chair and forced to watch.

I love that the Saints are Super Bowl 08 bound after a great off-season and draft. I guess that means I love Tom Benson too, can’t really get around that.

I love Jessie Jackson, Mayor Nagin et all crusing through the Ninth Ward on a Sunday. Blaming the Federal Government for the area not coming back. Hey Jessie, the reason the Ninth ward isn’t back is because of the guy standing right next to you. Yeah the bald dude. No, that’s a dead armadillo. The guy your height. Yeah that’s it. Our Mayor.

10 Comments so far

  1. Dan F (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2007 @ 3:02 pm

    I missed one going through my notes:

    I love the fact that this 300 Million dollar steel mill that the state says is going to turn us around…..Did anyone else see that if the Steel Mill goes through, the effect on the wetlands will be “devastating” to the state’s efforts to re-build Louisiana’s coast. Yeah no real big Mass Media coverage of that. Lil ole WIST been on it though

  2. Jack Ware (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2007 @ 5:21 pm

    Notes?!? You have notes on this shit! Outstanding!! We should compare Nixon-esc Enemy Lists.

  3. rcs (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2007 @ 10:59 pm

    Yawn, another pointless rant on metblogs.

  4. govtdrone (unregistered) on May 3rd, 2007 @ 7:23 am

    “Yawn, another pointless rant on metblogs.

    Posted by: rcs at May 2, 2007 10:59 PM”

    That’s what makes metblogs so great. Also, please add me to the WTF army. Great list, Dan.

  5. termite. (unregistered) on May 3rd, 2007 @ 8:02 am

    it would be nice to have a positive post once in a while. with all that’s wrong with the city, there’s still alot of good around us.

    hell, this is the best spring we’ve had in years. (that’s one thing) ;)

  6. Dan F (unregistered) on May 3rd, 2007 @ 9:35 am

    I love those who only want to hear the positive things. Please continue to be an ostrich. While your in dreamytheworldisallgoodland, those of us with cajones will focus on the bad so WE can get this shit corrected.

  7. Jack Ware (unregistered) on May 3rd, 2007 @ 10:42 am

    I think it’s more important to keep a balance. You can’t just ignore the bad shit going on. But I also don’t think that dwelling on it exclusively is a great idea either.

    This site has gotten pretty dark at times and I’ve had to step away for a while. I certainly drifted into the darkness a little for a while so I’m trying to be more upbeat to maintain a balance.

    I am infuriated by the fact that there is a group of people out there who refuse to acknowledge even the smallest criticism. Mostly because at that point they’ve willingly decided to fool themselves and ignore the world. But also, because (not unlike religion since it’s founded on the same intentional ignorance) at some point the burden of proof is going to force itself on you. And when it does it will be very difficult to reconcile the difference between what you’ve been telling yourself and what is really going on.

    On the other hand, sometimes people only seeing the bad makes them tedious. I have a friend that may or may not read this site and she’s so morose that I sometimes think of her as impotence personified…yeah, she’s cute, but talking to her is a race between killing myself and getting laid. In the end it just isn’t worth it so I’ve never bothered.

    Plus I just like rants.

  8. mitch (unregistered) on May 3rd, 2007 @ 1:20 pm

    Dan, once again, your anger glazes over what positive there is in your city.
    For those of us who live out of town, your blog (most times) acts as a deterrent rather than a magnet for New Orleans. Such a pity.

  9. Carmen (unregistered) on May 4th, 2007 @ 11:21 am

    “I have a friend that may or may not read this site and she’s so morose that I sometimes think of her as impotence personified…yeah, she’s cute, but talking to her is a race between killing myself and getting laid. In the end it just isn’t worth it so I’ve never bothered.”

    [whispers] psst, Jack. Sometimes a gal does this by design, to keep a guy away. Because often nothing else helps.

  10. stevenohio (unregistered) on May 5th, 2007 @ 2:54 am

    I started reading this blog the day Katrina hit. The only thing I can really take away from the over a year of your ramblings – I really am glad I live in Ohio!!!! Gods Blessings to all!

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