FBI Agent Jefferson

Well finally. Not that little dust-up about someone local being corrupt. Resign, who’s gonna replace him blah blah blah. I’m done with that loser. Was actually done with him oh about 20 years ago when he was scamming the city and the state with his “legitimate” businesses. I’m talking about the honorable explanation that half the city has been waiting for. The other half thought and still thinks the “man” is out the get good ole Dollar Bill.

I’m too lazy to go get the audio for ya. I’m sure the station will put the video/audio up on the website at some point. But here’s that honorable explanation we’ve all been waiting for:

“Did I bribe a foreign official? Absolutely not. The $90,000 was the FBI’s money. The FBI gave it to me as part of their plan that I would give it to the Nigerian Vice President. But I did not do that”.

Yes Bill we know the 90k was the FBI’s. And we know you didn’t give it to anyone because it was in your freezer.

The sad part of all of this is that some people will still believe him. When Dollar Bill ends up in the federal pen for maybe 150 or 200 years, some members of the black community will still think he’s been setup. This “honorable explanation” does nothing but play into the impression that Bill has helped perpetuate that the white man is out to ruin the black man. He clearly has no problem abusing power but to continue to try and keep the black community in his back pocket says more about the man than any indictment ever could.

I think the good Congressman is onto something here. Honorable explanations for almost any circumstance! Here are a couple, feel free to add your own.

Those bodies are not mine officer, Coroner Frank Minyard ask me to hold them for him.

That women is not a mistress honey, the FBI asked me to fuck her

That was not my marijuana. A blind man with glaucoma asked me to keep it for him.

I did not shoot that man; he walked in front of my loaded gun and asked me to shoot him.

I didn’t take that copper pipe out of your home; the dog spoke to me in the middle of the night and said that I could have it. For free. By tearing it out of your newly plastered walls.

The FBI gave me this machete to go chop up some wood and those people just got in the way of the tree.

6 Comments so far

  1. jack Ware (unregistered) on June 8th, 2007 @ 6:24 pm

    Boo creepy, bribe initiating FBI.

    YEAH Bill!

    Cool beer commercials aside, The FBI deals with domestic things like congressmen trying to bribe the leaders of foreign countries. It’s any number of other agencies like the CIA, Secret Service, NSA, etc. that don’t higher Congressmen to bribe the leaders of other countries.

    But politics has never been about facts so the people that want to believe his ridiculous story will. And nothing will ever change their minds.

  2. maddog395397 (unregistered) on June 8th, 2007 @ 7:27 pm

    Sounds like you have a pretty good view of the entire picture instead of a tiny corner.

  3. Carl (unregistered) on June 10th, 2007 @ 6:58 am

    Here’s what I think will happen…

    Jefferson will talk tough for the first few months proclaiming his innocence to whomever will listen then sometime as it gets closer to time for the trial, he will make a plea deal for a lighter sentence and serve his time at “Club Fed” where corrupt Congresscritters go.

  4. Laurie (unregistered) on June 11th, 2007 @ 12:25 pm

    Bet its the heat?!


  5. Patti (unregistered) on June 12th, 2007 @ 10:40 pm

    Did we ever get an honorable explanation from Cleo Fields? Jefferson is just going to wait for people to forget that he owes us an explanation.

  6. Patti (unregistered) on June 12th, 2007 @ 10:40 pm

    Did we ever get an honorable explanation from Cleo Fields? Jefferson is just going to wait for people to forget that he owes us an explanation.

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