A lesson in branding for the NHC

Attention, people at the National Hurricane Center:

I know it’s a little late for this, but my partner, Jonno, and I have some suggestions for future storm names. Not that there’s anything wrong with the ones you’ve chosen but…oh, who are we kidding? They totally suck.

Seriously: Gustav? You’re trying to get people interested, to make them pay attention, and you’re going with Gustav? Do we really need to tell you that NO ONE KNOWS Flaubert? He’s like someone you’re supposed to read in French class, but you slink by with the Cliffs Notes summary, and Madame Washington is none the wiser. And of the (maybe) 12 people who remember him, NO ONE remembers his first name.

That said, we have some great suggestions that ought to liven things up. They appeal to a broad demographic, including literary types, pop culture junkies, and ‘tards. Check out these babies:

• Hurricane Ignatius P. Reilly (A storm any bookworm would love!)

• Hurricane Jan Brady (They still run that show in syndication, you know.)

• Hurricane Kenickie (Everybody remembers Grease!)

• Hurricane Linda Lavin (It’s alliterative!)

• Hurricane Marcelle Marceau (Also alliterative!)

• Hurricane Nanette Fabray (I lobbied for Nana Mouskouri, but no dice. Sad face.)

• Hurricane Otis Spunkmeyer (But only if he sponsors it.)

• Hurricane Pussy Terwilliger (A celebrity, but only in in my mind.)

That’s all we’ve come up with so far, but we can totally go all the way to Z if necessary. Just give us the word.

3 Comments so far

  1. laurie2 on August 30th, 2008 @ 8:00 am

    Chupacabra is scary.


  2. laurie on August 30th, 2008 @ 1:37 pm

    Not just Flaubert – don’t forget about Mahler!

  3. fuchsiaperfect on August 31st, 2008 @ 3:01 am

    Ignatius J. Reilly – funny , I always thought it was ‘P’ until I followed your link to the statue.

    Hope ‘Gustav’ is too wimpy to do much damage – am planning a visit next year if the UK economy survives. We are such a gloomy lot this side of the pond…

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